What Are Some Ways to Be Helpful?
Practical ideas for reaching out and meeting a need.
Earlier I wrote about my two strategies for “doing something when I don’t know what to do.”
The two-part solution is: when you’re not sure what to do, make something and help someone. That’s it!
1. Make something
2. Help someone
illustrated the concept in a fun Instagram post (click through to see the full carousel post—I couldn’t figure out how to embed each of the five images):
“Making things and helping someone” is both a productivity hack and a mood booster! Also, if nothing else: you’re always doing something, right? So you might as well have a go-to behavior that creates some sort of positive outcome.
Doing good is good for you, as several studies have shown.1 One study suggested that volunteering even lowers mortality risk, especially when motives are truly altruistic.2
So what are some ways to be helpful? Here are six ideas.
1. Look for a way to help someone you know.
Pay attention to what people say in passing—they often mention challenges without directly asking for help. Maybe they're overwhelmed at work, dealing with a sick parent, or struggling with a home repair.
Send them a quick text: "Hey, I remember you mentioned x. Could I help by doing y?"
People are more likely to accept help when the offer is concrete, so be specific in your offer. Instead of "Let me know if you need anything," try "I'm free Saturday morning to help you move those boxes" or "I can pick up your kids from practice this week."
Pro tip: Keep a running note on your phone when friends mention struggles or upcoming challenges. Set a reminder to follow up.
2. Do something good that no one ever finds out about.
Leave an anonymous gift card at a neighbor's door when you know they're going through a tough time. Put extra money in a parking meter that's about to expire. Buy coffee for the next person in line but leave before they find out. Return shopping carts left in the parking lot. Pick up trash when no one's watching.
The secret part is crucial—it eliminates any ulterior motives and trains you to help purely for the sake of helping. Plus, it creates delightful mysteries that can restore people's faith in humanity.
3. Write a genuine recommendation or review for a small business you love.
Small businesses live and die by their reviews. Take 10 minutes to write a detailed, honest review on Google Maps, Yelp, or their Facebook page. Focus on specific experiences and what made them special.
Note: If you're a regular customer, mention how long you've been going there—it adds credibility and helps potential customers trust the review more.
4. Make an introduction.
Think about two people you know who could benefit from knowing each other. After asking both parties for permission, write a thoughtful email introduction explaining specifically why you think they should connect and what each person might gain from the relationship.
Potential template: "I'd love to connect you with [person] because [specific reason]. They're currently working on [relevant project/interest] and I think you'd have a lot to discuss about [specific topic]."
5. Send a detailed thank-you note.
Think of someone who helped you in the past year—maybe a mentor, a colleague, or a friend who was there during a tough time. Write them a detailed message about how their help impacted you. Don't just say "thanks.” Describe exactly what they did and how it made a difference in your life!
6. Disillusioned with national politics? Get involved locally.
Instead of doom-scrolling national news, redirect that energy to local government where your voice carries more weight. Start by attending a city council or school board meeting—they're usually posted on your city's website and many offer virtual attendance, even when the meetings are held in person.
Your presence and participation in the public comment period can actually influence local decisions about schools, roads, parks, and public services. Better yet, join your neighborhood association or start one. These groups often have direct lines to city councilors.
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The best part about these strategies is that you can start right now. You don't need special skills, lots of money, or even much time.
The next time you're feeling lost, remember: make something, help someone. It's the simplest algorithm for getting unstuck, feeling better, and creating positive outcomes.
What’s your favorite idea from the list? What would you add?
See also:
The impact of a ‘pay it forward’ style kindness intervention on giver and receiver well-being. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 2014 https://escholarship.org/content/qt2zt2q01p/qt2zt2q01p.pdf
Motives for Volunteering Are Associated With Mortality Risk in Older Adults. American Psychological Association, 2012 https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/hea-31-1-87.pdf
I recommend finding a local Mutual Aid organization. They are everywhere and they will provide multiple ways for us to help the most vulnerable folks in our community.
Love this so much....The only thing that helps me get out of "the dark chasm"--is doing something for someone else. And I love the idea of doing it quietly. Thanks for continuing to post "goodness."