Don't Just Do Something, Sit There
Why well-meaning advice often falls flat.
When people offer advice, most of them mean well. Not always, to be clear. Some people give advice in a way thatās meant to foster dependence on them, or to create some sense of obligation for the advisee.Ā
But letās assume the advice-giver is indeed well-meaning. The advice may still be problematic!
People giving advice donāt always explain their thought process well. They might leave out key steps because they do them instinctively.
Whatās more, advice is often based on hindsight. What worked in the past might not be as useful in a fast-changing world.
The list of āproblems with well-meaning adviceā could go on:Ā
Cognitive Bias
Conflict of interest
Information gaps
Misalignment with personality
Just to name a few! The point: other peopleās advice might work for them. It might work in their specific situation and circumstance. It might work because of their own life experience.Ā
But none of that means that other peopleās advice will work for you.
I often think of this principle when I hear popular motivational sayings. You know whatās funny? Many of these sayings could be reversed and would still make sense.
Consider the classic saying, āDonāt just stand there, do something.āĀ
Well, action is often good, sureābut sometimes itās better to just sit!Ā Sometimes waiting is exactly the right decision.
Or consider all the inspirational sayings about getting started:Ā
The perfect time and opportunity never comes. Start now.
A year from now you may wish you had started today.
Your dreams can come true, if only you have the courage to start.
The key to success is to start before you are ready.
Again, often itās good to start, but other times itās just as good to stop doing something as it is to begin. Try substituting the word stop for all of these ājust do itā calls-to-action:
The perfect time and opportunity never comes. Stop now.
A year from now you may wish you had stopped today.
Your dreams can come true, if only you have the courage to stop.
The key to success is to stop before you are ready.
These modified sayings might not get as many ālikesā on social media as the others, but they should.
If youāre having a hard time getting started with something, maybe the answer is to stop doing something else.Ā
And remember that other peopleās advice does not automatically apply to you.
I wish they taught āsunk cost fallacyā in elementary school. Once the proverbial light bulb turns on and you realize your partner or your job or something else is definitely not for you, step away. If you can do it graciously and without drama, even better. You donāt owe anyone or anything endless explanations or second chances. Theyāll just get better at scamming you. Your gut doesnāt lie to you. It picks up on micro expressions, bad feelings and has a protective bias toward you. You donāt want to continue? Trust yourself. The world doesnāt owe you. You owe you. No one ever advises you to unplug, rest and remove yourself. Yet this is solid advice that will renew you and bring you clarity. Meditate. All the answers are inside of you if you would just be still and listen. Believe yourself. Thank you for another against the grain path to follow Chris!
Interesting photo of the female orange tiger. I was told once that the best mousers are female orange tigers.
It's always good to be reminded that we're human BEINGS not human DOINGS :-) And the sunk cost fallacy is real, @carol! But I have been thinking that the networking group I've been in since January is not only not helping me build my business, but it's interfering with my life on a personal level. I'm at the point in life where I just don't want to do what I don't want to do, unless I absolutely have to do it. So I shall wave goodbye to that group come december, and reclaim one day of my week!