Don't Just Do Something, Sit There

Why well-meaning advice often falls flat.

When people offer advice, most of them mean well. Not always, to be clear. Some people give advice in a way that’s meant to foster dependence on them, or to create some sense of obligation for the advisee. 

But let’s assume the advice-giver is indeed well-meaning. The advice may still be problematic!

People giving advice don’t always explain their thought process well. They might leave out key steps because they do them instinctively.

What’s more, advice is often based on hindsight. What worked in the past might not be as useful in a fast-changing world.

The list of “problems with well-meaning advice” could go on: 

• Cognitive Bias

• Conflict of interest

• Information gaps

• Misalignment with personality

Just to name a few! The point: other people’s advice might work for them. It might work in their specific situation and circumstance. It might work because of their own life experience. 

But none of that means that other people’s advice will work for you.

This cat is just sitting there. She looks ready to pounce, but she’s just chilling! 📷

I often think of this principle when I hear popular motivational sayings. You know what’s funny? Many of these sayings could be reversed and would still make sense.

Consider the classic saying, “Don’t just stand there, do something.” 

Well, action is often good, sure—but sometimes it’s better to just sit! Sometimes waiting is exactly the right decision.

Or consider all the inspirational sayings about getting started: 

The perfect time and opportunity never comes. Start now.

A year from now you may wish you had started today.

Your dreams can come true, if only you have the courage to start.

The key to success is to start before you are ready.

Again, often it’s good to start, but other times it’s just as good to stop doing something as it is to begin. Try substituting the word stop for all of these “just do it” calls-to-action:

The perfect time and opportunity never comes. Stop now.

A year from now you may wish you had stopped today.

Your dreams can come true, if only you have the courage to stop.

The key to success is to stop before you are ready.

These modified sayings might not get as many “likes” on social media as the others, but they should.

If you’re having a hard time getting started with something, maybe the answer is to stop doing something else. 

And remember that other people’s advice does not automatically apply to you.