13 Comments

The belief we can’t significantly improve our happiness is garbage, in my opinion & experience! I could write a book about this right now, but I will limit myself to two thoughts!

First, consciousness is fluid, dynamic and changeable at its very core. Whether we change it 5% by eliminating sugar, or 20% by doing hard-core therapy to transform our inner critics into inner cheerleaders, there is NO LIMIT to how much we can increase our wellbeing because consciousness itself is unlimited.

Second, pain and suffering are different things. Pain is me having shingles in my face (I do not advise this experience!) Suffering is my emotional anguish about the unfairness, discomfort, and terror of having shingles in my face.

I once met a woman who said, “Oh, I had cancer, and I had shingles – shingles was so much worse!” I thought that was an accurate representation of the excruciating nature of shingles.

Nonetheless, when stripped of suffering, almost all pain — even shingles — is bearable. And that’s saying a lot, because other than having my arm bone come out of my arm and make contact with air, I really haven’t felt that level of pain in my time on this earth.

Experiencing pure pain without the added burden of suffering when I had shingles helped me understand the distinction between pain and suffering. It helped me understand that almost anything can be made better if I have tools to transform how I relate to it. No matter how much I’m suffering, even if I can take 5% of the pebble of suffering out of that shoe, so that I’m experiencing only the pain and less of the added suffering, I will feel better.

Never let anyone tell you there’s a “happiness set point” so efforts to transform yourself won’t make a difference. That is GARBAGE. Science once told us all kinds of crap we no longer believe. Let’s put this belief in the trash bin of history and get on with the business of becoming radically happier humans, one pebble out of our shoe at a time!

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Re: pain and suffering are different things.

Nothing has improved my mental health more than the catastrophic failure of my physical health. Perhaps because it gave me permission to take off several pebble-laden shoes, if I may torture the metaphor a little.

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You can suffer and still be happy. If you find yourself in a situation where you can't take the pebble out of your own shoe, take the pebbles out of other peoples shoes.

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I've always felt in my gut that the idea of baseline happiness was nonsense. It feels like there is a human drive to change and adapt, to find more meaning and happiness as we live. To solve our problems where we can, all of which points to some innate knowledge that our baseline happiness can be moved. I think the lottery winner example isn't a good one to understand the concept of baseline happiness, because perhaps money is not a good indicator of what can move the needle.

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Sasha's writing is awesome, he'd be a great person to interview for this substack sometime!

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I love the ‘pebble in the shoe’ metaphor. I’ve got a few, thanks Chris for encouragement to try and take them out 🙏🏻💛

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I have significantly improved my sense of well-being, but it takes daily work. I enjoyed your post!

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I used to walk barefoot a lot. Overtime my feet got used to walking on uncomfortable surfaces, and even if a pebble caused temporary discomfort, as soon as I moved on, it would be left behind.

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I'd never heard of hedonic adaptation until I read your insightful piece but I was aware of my own baseline level of morale that seems to defy external events e.g. failing to be downtrodden as disasters unfold around me and only the tiniest whiff of euphoria when triumph is achieved... the joys of being a 50s child in Britain when remaining buttoned down was the done thing. Thank you for providing context... I'm not the only one who is equally happy/unhappy when it rains or shines!!

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I significantly increased my daily happiness by curing my chronic pain. I read books on the mindbody pain connection like The Way Out by Alan Gordon. I used Nicole Sachs's JournalSpeak protocol. I used somatic tracking YouTube videos to do regular pain reprocessing work. It made a HUGE difference. It was very hard to be happy and enjoy life when I was in pain every day.

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This is literal for me. I have had what feels like the proverbial pebble in my shoe. I have taken the time to stop and balance precariously to try to remove said pebble. Has anyone else had the experience that they literally cannot find the pebble in their shoe?!? Like I’m talking multiple times! I feel like this can be metaphorical as well. As in: something is bothering me (undiagnosed depression, relentless pessimism, overly critical boss) but I can’t quite put my finger on the “pebble” in order to remove it. Maybe sometimes the answer is to add something good to your life like meditation or waking early or eating more veggies.

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The concept of hedonic adaptation could very well be the way of the soul telling the ego the true path toward peace, and to free one's self of the trap of expectations and attachments.

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This makes a lot of sense. I wonder if the studies have tested hedonic adaptation with people who make sustained changes that positively impact their well-being? I imagine it would be a difficult study, spanning multiple years, so I doubt it’s been done. Which is why lottery winners reverting to baseline happiness makes sense — if they do nothing much to make positive emotional/mental changes in their life. Interesting!!

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