7 Ways to Think Differently About Time
Escaping the Trap of Constant Urgency
Time anxiety is the nagging feeling that time is passing you by, that there’s not enough time in the day, that there’s something you should be doing but you can’t quite put your finger on what it is.
My hope is that by challenging some of your deeply-held assumptions, you can begin to break free from the distress that colors your days—and reclaim a sense of agency over your most precious resource.
1. Time Passes Differently as You Age
As we age, our perception of time fundamentally changes. Remember how summer vacations seemed to stretch endlessly when you were a child? There's a neurological reason for this phenomenon. When we're young, everything is new and our brains are processing more information, making time feel slower. As we get older, our routines become more established and years seem to accelerate.1
This isn't just subjective experience—research supports that our perception of time's passage varies throughout our lives. Understanding this shift can help us be more intentional about creating novel experiences that make our time feel richer and fuller, regardless of our age.
What helps: Deliberately seek out novel experiences. Take different routes home, try new foods, or visit unfamiliar places. These small changes create more mental "time markers" that expand your perception of time.
2. Time Stresses Us Out More Than Almost Anything Else
The phrase "I don't have enough time" has become a universal lament. Time anxiety—the persistent feeling that time is running out and we're not using it well—affects people across all demographics and age groups.
This anxiety manifests in two key ways: existentially (worrying about wasting our life or running out of time to accomplish important goals) and in daily routines (feeling constantly behind and overwhelmed by tasks). Both forms create chronic stress that diminishes our ability to be present and make clear decisions.
Learning to recognize when time anxiety is driving our behavior is the first step toward a healthier relationship with time.
What helps: Create a "done list" rather than just a to-do list. Seeing what you've already accomplished helps counter the feeling that time is slipping away unproductively.
3. The "Time Management" Industry Is Misleading
The time management industry sells a seductive but ultimately impossible promise: if you just follow the right system, you can conquer time itself. But this approach fundamentally misunderstands the problem.
No productivity system, app, or morning routine can create more than 24 hours in a day or eliminate the reality that you simply cannot do everything. The real challenge isn't managing time—it's managing our attention, energy, and expectations.
Instead of chasing the perfect productivity system, we need to focus on making conscious choices about what deserves our limited time and accepting that saying yes to one thing always means saying no to something else.
What helps: Replace the question "How can I get everything done?" with "What matters most right now?" This shift from quantity to quality immediately reduces time pressure.
4. When We Perceive a Time Shortage, We Feel Distressed
Our subjective perception of time—not actual time constraints—often drives our distress. When we believe we don't have enough time, we enter a state of cognitive tunnel vision that makes it harder to think clearly and make good decisions.
The solution isn't always to create more time, but rather to create a perception of time abundance. Small actions that give us a sense of control over our time can dramatically reduce anxiety, even when our actual time constraints remain unchanged.
What helps: Use the phrase "I'm choosing not to" instead of "I don't have time to." This language shift reminds you that time allocation is within your control.
5. Time Is the Only Non-Renewable Resource
Money spent can be earned back. Knowledge can be gained. But time, once spent, is gone forever. This makes time fundamentally different from every other resource in our lives.
When we truly internalize that time is our most precious non-renewable resource, it reshapes our decision-making. Instead of asking "Can I afford to do this?" we start asking "Can I afford to spend my irreplaceable time on this?" This perspective helps us align our daily choices with what truly matters to us.
What helps: Each morning, identify one thing that would make today "time well spent." Even on busy days, completing this single meaningful activity creates a sense of purpose.
6. Time Is a Cultural Construct
Different cultures perceive and value time in fundamentally different ways. Western societies tend to view time as linear, valuable, and scarce—something to be saved or spent wisely. Other cultures see time as cyclical, abundant, or relational—focused more on the quality of time spent with others than on efficiency.
These cultural frameworks dramatically affect how we experience time. Understanding that our sense of constant urgency isn't universal but culturally conditioned allows us to question these inherited beliefs and potentially adopt more fulfilling alternatives.
What helps: When you catch yourself in a spiral of time anxiety, pause and ask: "Will this matter in five years?" This simple question can instantly reduce the pressure around many daily tasks.
7. Not Finishing Things Is One of Life's Great Joys
We've been conditioned to believe that completion is always the goal and that unfinished projects represent failure. But what if we viewed unfinished things differently? Many creative breakthroughs and personal discoveries happen when we allow ourselves to explore without the pressure of completion.
Learning to distinguish between what truly needs finishing and what can remain open-ended or even abandoned creates a more flexible relationship with time. Some of life's most valuable experiences come from the journey itself, not from crossing the finish line.
What helps: Give yourself permission to abandon projects that no longer bring you joy. Keep a "permission to quit" list where you catalog things you've deliberately chosen not to finish—not as failures, but as conscious choices.
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Time will continue to pass, regardless of how we think about it. But our experience of that passage—whether it feels like a constant battle or a natural flow—is largely determined by the mental frameworks we apply to it.
By recognizing that time anxiety is real but not inevitable, we can begin to rewrite our relationship with the clock.
For examples, see Age Effects in Perception of Time and Why the days seem shorter as we get older
I like this way of thinking -- you're not quitting, you're just choosing to not finish. Often that's a very wise decision.
I got your book from the library and got a lot out of it. Thank you for writing it!