Wow, I love that you can’t hit “pause” on this game.
I learned the hard way that the inner world works like Cart Life. Our subconscious— the world of our “parts”- exists and evolves whether we check in on it or not.
Once you make contact with parts of yourself you didn’t know existed, it’s best to do everything you can to stay in contact with them. Otherwise they’ll feel abandoned and your budding relationship with them will suffer. Even just a quick, “Hey, what’s up?” before bed or five minutes of journaling makes a huge difference. We neglect our Parts’ Life at our peril, just like neglecting Cart Life!
I dunno, I like my games to be UNLIKE real life. The past five years I would have liked to hit "pause" so many times! It's been a struggle as I smashed to smithereens the "perfect" life I was living and continue to work on (and struggle with) building a new life. So maybe it's just me and where I am in my life that makes this game sound so very frustrating and makes me want to run screaming from it. I've spent so much time on my inner life that honestly, I am ready to just cruise for a bit!
This is also where you start to see what the process is and look to enjoy the smaller things - those little moments of joy in an otherwise cold and uncaring world where you merely have to fight to see the next sunrise.
I've never played the game, but I can see where this matches up quite well with life.
This is where most often lose their minds because of that aspect - it is supposed to be a game and an escape from the life they can't retreat from. In that aspect, they are correct. We do use games as an escape, but that doesn't mean you aren't thinking either.
A wonderful example of how artistic games can be, even when people scream to the old ones they matter not.
Wow. That sounds like the worst way to spend free time I’ve ever heard of! Mind you, I’m not a gamer (again, not a choice I’d make for spending my free time, but, whatever…)
The general premise of your post is spot-on, though. I agree with the fact that you can work your ass off and still end up 20 years later working your ass off with little to show (except perhaps a smaller ass from all the work it’s getting…). I’ve been there, so I know this is true.
But the flip side of that is the definition of “little to show”. Financially, owning a running a horse farm is like owning a black hole. The overheads are ridiculously high, the (human) clients can drive you to totally rethink your life choices, the horses always have an emergency health issue in a blizzard or when there’s a hurricane, or at 2 o’clock in the morning… but - walking into the barn to do night checks at 9:00 pm and hearing 20 horses munching on their hay contentedly, teaching therapeutic riding to a child with Down Syndrome, helping a woman coping with a divorce because the only thing she’s doing for herself right now is eeking out enough time and money to do the one thing she loves - riding horses. And just petting one of those soft muzzles - heaven on earth. We sold our farm nearly 20 years ago, and while I don’t miss the crazier human clients or the emergencies in the middle of blizzards, I do miss the upsides. Glad I have those memories!
Also I love this mindset shift here - "Winners give up, they change their minds, they try new things. “Winners never quit” is a lie." One thing I get down on myself about is not following through... I have so many ideas, I'm interested in so many new things, I start all these new hobbies and projects and then sometimes I realize, I don't have time for them all, or that I can't turn that particular thing into my whole life. Sometimes when I'm faced with the idea that I can't be the greatest in the world, I can't change my life to do only this (well I can. but then other things I also like would suffer), I get a bit discouraged. I have trouble doing things just for the hobby sake, I think.
Chris, having spent a fair amount of time in Las Vegas, I know you're always going to lose at something. I spent some good years at Maxis Software writing user manuals from 1989 to 1995, and many of their games (SimCity, SimEarth, SimLife, The Sims) weren't about winning or losing, but rather in exploring and designing and testing variables—like whether your Sim looked better in a leopard catsuit or a full-length gown. They never did try a SimBlackJack...
The realization that you cannot do everything well is essential. It reminds me of the importance of making decisions and tradeoffs to prioritize the things I'm best at or the things that bring the most joy and value into my life. Thanks so much for writing Chris and helping me live better.
I kept waiting to get to the part in the article where you'd say "ha ha, just kidding! No one would take the time to make a game that's like real life. And no one would take the time to play it."
Wow, I love that you can’t hit “pause” on this game.
I learned the hard way that the inner world works like Cart Life. Our subconscious— the world of our “parts”- exists and evolves whether we check in on it or not.
Once you make contact with parts of yourself you didn’t know existed, it’s best to do everything you can to stay in contact with them. Otherwise they’ll feel abandoned and your budding relationship with them will suffer. Even just a quick, “Hey, what’s up?” before bed or five minutes of journaling makes a huge difference. We neglect our Parts’ Life at our peril, just like neglecting Cart Life!
This is so insightful. I am learning this the hard way, too. The inner world needs tending like a garden or you die.
This made me think that we could internalise:
“I’m such a quitter, I never stick at anything”
Or
“I’m so glad I figured out early that that wasn’t a good fit for me. I learned a lot and will take that into the next thing.”
I dunno, I like my games to be UNLIKE real life. The past five years I would have liked to hit "pause" so many times! It's been a struggle as I smashed to smithereens the "perfect" life I was living and continue to work on (and struggle with) building a new life. So maybe it's just me and where I am in my life that makes this game sound so very frustrating and makes me want to run screaming from it. I've spent so much time on my inner life that honestly, I am ready to just cruise for a bit!
I love this. I have a perfectionist teenager and that's what I always tell him too. I want him to learn how to lose.
This is also where you start to see what the process is and look to enjoy the smaller things - those little moments of joy in an otherwise cold and uncaring world where you merely have to fight to see the next sunrise.
I've never played the game, but I can see where this matches up quite well with life.
This is where most often lose their minds because of that aspect - it is supposed to be a game and an escape from the life they can't retreat from. In that aspect, they are correct. We do use games as an escape, but that doesn't mean you aren't thinking either.
A wonderful example of how artistic games can be, even when people scream to the old ones they matter not.
Wow. That sounds like the worst way to spend free time I’ve ever heard of! Mind you, I’m not a gamer (again, not a choice I’d make for spending my free time, but, whatever…)
The general premise of your post is spot-on, though. I agree with the fact that you can work your ass off and still end up 20 years later working your ass off with little to show (except perhaps a smaller ass from all the work it’s getting…). I’ve been there, so I know this is true.
But the flip side of that is the definition of “little to show”. Financially, owning a running a horse farm is like owning a black hole. The overheads are ridiculously high, the (human) clients can drive you to totally rethink your life choices, the horses always have an emergency health issue in a blizzard or when there’s a hurricane, or at 2 o’clock in the morning… but - walking into the barn to do night checks at 9:00 pm and hearing 20 horses munching on their hay contentedly, teaching therapeutic riding to a child with Down Syndrome, helping a woman coping with a divorce because the only thing she’s doing for herself right now is eeking out enough time and money to do the one thing she loves - riding horses. And just petting one of those soft muzzles - heaven on earth. We sold our farm nearly 20 years ago, and while I don’t miss the crazier human clients or the emergencies in the middle of blizzards, I do miss the upsides. Glad I have those memories!
I like the concept of the game almost reprogramming how we see major life narratives - offering us a more compassionate reframe.
Love this. Reminds me of Penn and Teller’s game Vegas Bus, only with more meaningfulness and less parody: https://www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/desert-bus-the-very-worst-video-game-ever-created
Thank Chris for this message.
I cannot wait to play this game!
Also I love this mindset shift here - "Winners give up, they change their minds, they try new things. “Winners never quit” is a lie." One thing I get down on myself about is not following through... I have so many ideas, I'm interested in so many new things, I start all these new hobbies and projects and then sometimes I realize, I don't have time for them all, or that I can't turn that particular thing into my whole life. Sometimes when I'm faced with the idea that I can't be the greatest in the world, I can't change my life to do only this (well I can. but then other things I also like would suffer), I get a bit discouraged. I have trouble doing things just for the hobby sake, I think.
Real winners also just have hobbies for fun!
Chris, having spent a fair amount of time in Las Vegas, I know you're always going to lose at something. I spent some good years at Maxis Software writing user manuals from 1989 to 1995, and many of their games (SimCity, SimEarth, SimLife, The Sims) weren't about winning or losing, but rather in exploring and designing and testing variables—like whether your Sim looked better in a leopard catsuit or a full-length gown. They never did try a SimBlackJack...
The realization that you cannot do everything well is essential. It reminds me of the importance of making decisions and tradeoffs to prioritize the things I'm best at or the things that bring the most joy and value into my life. Thanks so much for writing Chris and helping me live better.
I kept waiting to get to the part in the article where you'd say "ha ha, just kidding! No one would take the time to make a game that's like real life. And no one would take the time to play it."