I concur. Random anxiety will sometimes rise up in me like a hungry ghost that makes me wander around to escape it.
In IFS terms, my firefighters will try to numb me by scrolling on Facebook or doing other low-ROI activities that push the bad feelings down, but also create more bad feelings by freezing me up and blocking my energy flow.
Sometimes I can’t face the underlying bad vibes arising from my exiles directly. I can’t use my thousands of hours of IFS experience to deal with being triggered in the moment, and that’s OK.
That’s the actual definition of being triggered, right? Sometimes life is a wave that pushes us underwater and no amount of swimming capabilities will do us any good in the moment. It’s time to surrender on a certain level and accept we’re triggered and simply find a way to not drown!
So I love this advice to do something. Ideally, not doom scroll—instead, engage in a meaningful activity that takes our mind off the crap long enough to get us through whatever bad patch arose from the depths of the murky subconscious unprocessed stuff that floats up and rises to the surface from time to time.
#action seems to conquer fear, distraction ;) sometimes the action is mediating / prayer, but I can worry through that, I'm always happier making music, always :) So brain activations, etc. and now it's pretty easy to do :)
Chris Guillebeau - Thank you for this digestible and insightful post. Your posts are always relevant for me and usually timely as well. Best regards - Matt O'Mara
Thanks for this Chris. Your message well timed and ties in perfectly to the newsletter my friend Joy sent along these same lines. I always feel like I need to pay extra attention when I see a message multiple times in a short amount of time. This is a quote from Joy's email, "You cannot control the uncontrollable but you can be a valuable influencer spreading compassion, grace, and love." Making something is always a go to for me when I feel unsettled. I used Joy's words in a graphic I made this morning for my Days of Gratitude page on FB. @daysofgratitudebook
I've come up with a succinct phrase that helps me escape the despair of uncertainty: make your own certainties! What I mean is that when life feels out of control, I think about what in my life is by my definition, eternal. Examples:
-My family will always love and support me. Nobody will purposely abandon me (because I deserve to be loved and cherished)
-I will never give up (because people need me to be their champion and I need them)
-If I practice self-care, I will live healthfully for a long time (because science has found there is a strong correlation between self-care and a long life)
An annoyingly practical person might say this is yet another attempt to reassure myself, but I disagree. Maybe someone struggling with feeling out of control should remove the concept of control altogether. Sometimes thinking about what you can or cannot control causes you more anxiety since that way of thinking derives from the assumption that you will have to solve your problems completely alone, because control supposedly comes from inside you and you alone. But isn't that why you seek solace from people who love you, because they help you lift your burdens? What if instead of leaning heavily into the idea of nothing making sense since the world is so uncertain, we leaned into the idea of embracing the proof how our lives make sense?
I concur. Random anxiety will sometimes rise up in me like a hungry ghost that makes me wander around to escape it.
In IFS terms, my firefighters will try to numb me by scrolling on Facebook or doing other low-ROI activities that push the bad feelings down, but also create more bad feelings by freezing me up and blocking my energy flow.
Sometimes I can’t face the underlying bad vibes arising from my exiles directly. I can’t use my thousands of hours of IFS experience to deal with being triggered in the moment, and that’s OK.
That’s the actual definition of being triggered, right? Sometimes life is a wave that pushes us underwater and no amount of swimming capabilities will do us any good in the moment. It’s time to surrender on a certain level and accept we’re triggered and simply find a way to not drown!
So I love this advice to do something. Ideally, not doom scroll—instead, engage in a meaningful activity that takes our mind off the crap long enough to get us through whatever bad patch arose from the depths of the murky subconscious unprocessed stuff that floats up and rises to the surface from time to time.
I always learn so much from your comments! Thanks for sharing, Melissa.
Thanks Chris!!! I deeply appreciate your Substack & all the great ideas you share!
#action seems to conquer fear, distraction ;) sometimes the action is mediating / prayer, but I can worry through that, I'm always happier making music, always :) So brain activations, etc. and now it's pretty easy to do :)
Serenity, my mainstay.
Just love this! I feel it and practice this and then I don't feel so bad...magic! Love your substack posts 👍
I think I just decided to spend tomorrow painting and baking with my kids, and filling up the community fridge. Thank you ❤️
And maybe do it again the next day.
Chris Guillebeau - Thank you for this digestible and insightful post. Your posts are always relevant for me and usually timely as well. Best regards - Matt O'Mara
Thanks, Matt - really glad you're enjoying.
Thanks for this Chris. Your message well timed and ties in perfectly to the newsletter my friend Joy sent along these same lines. I always feel like I need to pay extra attention when I see a message multiple times in a short amount of time. This is a quote from Joy's email, "You cannot control the uncontrollable but you can be a valuable influencer spreading compassion, grace, and love." Making something is always a go to for me when I feel unsettled. I used Joy's words in a graphic I made this morning for my Days of Gratitude page on FB. @daysofgratitudebook
Re: what is going on the world, this advice seems to conflict with the article called "Keep Trying To Make A Difference"
Thanks for sharing
Your words are brilliantly basic and so helpful in clearing out the cobwebs!
https://suno.com/playlist/95fe0ed0-021f-46d1-aca1-2ee1b0913ca6 I've been writing positive music with the tool now for a week, and it's amazing. 1. Help myself, 2. Others, and some good lyrics :)
Verse]
Climbed a mountain just to see the view
Sweat on my brow but my heart stayed true
Feel the struggle with every single step
Wondering if I’ll ever have enough yet
[Verse 2]
Wake up in the morning light just breaks
Motivation's slipping through mistakes
Dreams in the backseat shadows cast long
Searching for my calling where do I belong
[Chorus]
Oh life’s a riddle tangled in a knot
Desire burns within but sometimes I've forgot
To be content with all I’ve got
But still aiming for stars pressin' for the top
[Verse 3]
Contentment wrestles with the urge to change
World in my hands my mind on rearrange
Conflicted heart with every choice I make
Wondering which path I should really take
[Verse 4]
Hat in my hand, and job choices all around
Lost in the noise trying to find a sound
Feet on the ground head in the sky
Hoping my spirit will one day fly
[Chorus]
Oh life’s a riddle tangled in a knot
Desire burns within but sometimes I've forgot
To be content with all I’ve got
But still aiming for stars pressin' for the top
Ah sheet…that’s good 😎
I've come up with a succinct phrase that helps me escape the despair of uncertainty: make your own certainties! What I mean is that when life feels out of control, I think about what in my life is by my definition, eternal. Examples:
-My family will always love and support me. Nobody will purposely abandon me (because I deserve to be loved and cherished)
-I will never give up (because people need me to be their champion and I need them)
-If I practice self-care, I will live healthfully for a long time (because science has found there is a strong correlation between self-care and a long life)
An annoyingly practical person might say this is yet another attempt to reassure myself, but I disagree. Maybe someone struggling with feeling out of control should remove the concept of control altogether. Sometimes thinking about what you can or cannot control causes you more anxiety since that way of thinking derives from the assumption that you will have to solve your problems completely alone, because control supposedly comes from inside you and you alone. But isn't that why you seek solace from people who love you, because they help you lift your burdens? What if instead of leaning heavily into the idea of nothing making sense since the world is so uncertain, we leaned into the idea of embracing the proof how our lives make sense?