Reading some other comments here, it seems that life circumstances push us into working out which values to choose, although I have never thought about it in terms of maximising. For me it has been having a child with additional needs. Our family life was difficult for years and we struggled to live a 'normal' life. It was only when we decided to forge our own path that my partner and I sat down and discussed the core values for our family. We decided that having a calm home where we all feel connected to each other was the most important thing and anything that didn't serve that had to go. We are maximising for calm and connection and our life is so much better for it.
I am maximizing my minimal improvements daily for a better life - Kaizen thinking.
It is much like the struggle to control everything and do everything. You can't get there because you aren't going to control much. Instead, look at the small things you can change - moving things closer, moving distractions slightly further away, stop doing something for five minutes and see hot is feels - and then make more changes once those become comfortable.
I am not a business, but I can use business thinking to improve my life a little bit at a time.
Peace and joy. 😊 That sounds so cheesy. But I’ve maximised for a lot of more ego-led things which has been brilliant too and led me to a place where I can now enjoy attempting to lean into this phase of maximising for peace and joy for a while.
This is true for me as well, but includes bringing that joy to others. This leads me to push myself, do things that are uncomfortable, and sometimes sacrifice short term feelings for long term joy. That’s the hope, anyway.
Hey Chris... I would love to see you write about minimalzation and mental health in the same article where you take on maximize. Both are pitched as desired. Can you put this in context for us? Can you speak to mindsets that tend to maximize or minimize? My tendency to minimize is so that I have clear spaces and plenty of room, mentally and physically, for greatly amplified talent and the ONE or two things each day that matter. In order to have deep relationships and time well spent in community activities, you need to remove all clutter and understand barriers of "NO" and "Absolutely Yes." Maybe you can sort out with questions. What is always maximized? Love, Joy, Awe, Giving. What is always minimized? Distractions, physical possessions, and people who are mean, stupid or both. (By the way people who are both is the definition of terrorist.)
In my experience, maximisation has brought jeopardy! The need to maximise my income in order to maximise the quality of life for my family maximised stress and anxiety. Maximisation without tolerances simply wasn’t sustainable! At the age of 40 I was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia. This ultimately led to the breakdown of my marriage and family. I now choose to make maximisation a qualitative issue rather than a quantitative issue. No amount of money can mitigate peace of mind. Whether Journaling, working on my Memoir, or composing Substack Newsletters, writing gives me peace of mind. That hasn’t eradicated the stress and anxiety. I do it for the intrinsic love of expression but that doesn’t deny me the occasional cravings of appreciation. So it’s a tightrope walk at which I’m getting more proficient.
I also had Challenge which for me was flipping obstacles to opportunity and a quest for mastery. Then Impact which manifested as service, a natural suite wherein mastery benefits others.
Growth is what comes up now. It differs from before (mastery/service) as there is no future utility / raison d'être. I haven't lost the gains previously earned but now the focus is Internal, detached from external objectives. This is new territory as 'usefulness' has Always existed for me.
For me, I would like to maximize work- which in turn maximizes my ability for financial stability, while also maximizing for health- which maximizes my longevity. I hadn’t thought about it in these terms but I like the approach. Thank you!
I was literally just doing IFS about this very topic. I had a fantasy I created a non-profit heath food store with an on-site lab that tested all the incoming food for glyphosate and heavy metals (like the online Heath Ranger store does, where I buy my glyphosate-free beans). The lab also quantified the omega-6 seed oil content of foods as well, since I’m a seed-oil hater.
As the fantasy got more elaborate, it took a dark turn! In this daydream, the non-profit food co-op / lab was also a gathering place with a cafe, books in alternative (real) health, and slogans about health freedom. But someone I brought onboard to the co-op, who I personally interviewed and hired, decided to test those slogans and see what would happen if they bought conventional lemons and labeled them as organic.
Of course, I lost my mind, issued huge press releases about the scandal, issued apologies and refunds, and lost sleep over it for weeks. My Oura ring showed all my biomarkers went straight into the trash.
THEN, this hypothetical psychopath in the daydream who did this to “test” me revealed it was an elaborate ruse just to see what I would do. They wanted to see if I would stand up to my values or try to cover it up! The lemons had never been conventional at all — they were actually organic, they had just created this entire “scandal“ just to see what I would do.
Jeez, a very involved daydream!
In the daydream, my response is thermonuclear: on the verge of expanding the co-op / lab food to other locations, I sell it and walk away. I do NOT look back. I’m disgusted beyond comprehension at what this one person has done. I’m sickened by someone attacking me in this way — it’s an assault.
To be lied to is to be physically assaulted: now that we have Oura rings, this is a demonstrable fact. Maybe someone doesn’t physically touch you with their hand, but if they lie, and that crucifies your heart rate variability, and it makes your heart rate shoot up, that’s an assault.
What the daydream clarified is that I’m not the kind of person who can engage with a big swath of the general population because people really do lie and they really do misguided things like this.
In the daydream, the person who “tested“ me thought it was a noble action to ensure that I was living up to my values. But that is so theoretical — it so deeply fails to comprehend the costs to me as a living, breathing human being, who poured their soul into trying to create something good for humanity, only to have my health decimated by a “test.“ The world is hard enough, without having people create drama for theoretical purposes.
So this very elaborate fantasy made me realize I want to maximize for the level of consciousness of the people that I engage with more than anything else.
People who approach the world from the mind, and not the heart or soul, are not people I want to have anything to do with.
Because this is the kind of action they can take — extremely misguided, “theoretical” “testing” “just to see what happens” — dissociated from fundamental compassion. They don’t LIVE from a place of embodied humanity; they lack the somatic understanding that we are biological primates who harm each other by doing things from the mind and not the heart.
As the world becomes more and more run by AI and algorithms and robots, reclaiming our humanity gets harder and harder.
Thus, maximizing for basic humanity in our interactions and choices — according each other compassion and connection at the most basic levels — seems like a very important value these days!
100% agree. Having just turned 60 (and experiencing a LOT of loss in my 50s) - I now know with crystal clarity that love, friendships, contribution and connection are the only things that ultimately matter in this life. I've found there's something about loss (and its companion, grief) that is profoundly humbling and perspective-shifting, and seems to spur people to want to be more generous, more compassionate. In my younger days, my priorities were definitely elsewhere (work, ambition) - but now, I have never felt more certain about anything than this.
wrote the longest reply, and “love” is all I needed to say. LOL! Thanks for your pithy clarity, Kristin. My deepest condolences on the sudden loss of your husband.
Why maximizing rather than optimizing?
I tend to use the term optimizing but I think that’s because in my work setting that’s what I use with clients.
Maybe optimizing feels less strict, less judgmental to me than maximizing. What do you think?
Reading some other comments here, it seems that life circumstances push us into working out which values to choose, although I have never thought about it in terms of maximising. For me it has been having a child with additional needs. Our family life was difficult for years and we struggled to live a 'normal' life. It was only when we decided to forge our own path that my partner and I sat down and discussed the core values for our family. We decided that having a calm home where we all feel connected to each other was the most important thing and anything that didn't serve that had to go. We are maximising for calm and connection and our life is so much better for it.
I am maximizing my minimal improvements daily for a better life - Kaizen thinking.
It is much like the struggle to control everything and do everything. You can't get there because you aren't going to control much. Instead, look at the small things you can change - moving things closer, moving distractions slightly further away, stop doing something for five minutes and see hot is feels - and then make more changes once those become comfortable.
I am not a business, but I can use business thinking to improve my life a little bit at a time.
Peace and joy. 😊 That sounds so cheesy. But I’ve maximised for a lot of more ego-led things which has been brilliant too and led me to a place where I can now enjoy attempting to lean into this phase of maximising for peace and joy for a while.
This is true for me as well, but includes bringing that joy to others. This leads me to push myself, do things that are uncomfortable, and sometimes sacrifice short term feelings for long term joy. That’s the hope, anyway.
Hey Chris... I would love to see you write about minimalzation and mental health in the same article where you take on maximize. Both are pitched as desired. Can you put this in context for us? Can you speak to mindsets that tend to maximize or minimize? My tendency to minimize is so that I have clear spaces and plenty of room, mentally and physically, for greatly amplified talent and the ONE or two things each day that matter. In order to have deep relationships and time well spent in community activities, you need to remove all clutter and understand barriers of "NO" and "Absolutely Yes." Maybe you can sort out with questions. What is always maximized? Love, Joy, Awe, Giving. What is always minimized? Distractions, physical possessions, and people who are mean, stupid or both. (By the way people who are both is the definition of terrorist.)
In my experience, maximisation has brought jeopardy! The need to maximise my income in order to maximise the quality of life for my family maximised stress and anxiety. Maximisation without tolerances simply wasn’t sustainable! At the age of 40 I was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia. This ultimately led to the breakdown of my marriage and family. I now choose to make maximisation a qualitative issue rather than a quantitative issue. No amount of money can mitigate peace of mind. Whether Journaling, working on my Memoir, or composing Substack Newsletters, writing gives me peace of mind. That hasn’t eradicated the stress and anxiety. I do it for the intrinsic love of expression but that doesn’t deny me the occasional cravings of appreciation. So it’s a tightrope walk at which I’m getting more proficient.
Love this reflection!
I'd day Growth.
I also had Challenge which for me was flipping obstacles to opportunity and a quest for mastery. Then Impact which manifested as service, a natural suite wherein mastery benefits others.
Growth is what comes up now. It differs from before (mastery/service) as there is no future utility / raison d'être. I haven't lost the gains previously earned but now the focus is Internal, detached from external objectives. This is new territory as 'usefulness' has Always existed for me.
This is what is bubbling up for me...
For me, I would like to maximize work- which in turn maximizes my ability for financial stability, while also maximizing for health- which maximizes my longevity. I hadn’t thought about it in these terms but I like the approach. Thank you!
Wow, is this timely!
I was literally just doing IFS about this very topic. I had a fantasy I created a non-profit heath food store with an on-site lab that tested all the incoming food for glyphosate and heavy metals (like the online Heath Ranger store does, where I buy my glyphosate-free beans). The lab also quantified the omega-6 seed oil content of foods as well, since I’m a seed-oil hater.
As the fantasy got more elaborate, it took a dark turn! In this daydream, the non-profit food co-op / lab was also a gathering place with a cafe, books in alternative (real) health, and slogans about health freedom. But someone I brought onboard to the co-op, who I personally interviewed and hired, decided to test those slogans and see what would happen if they bought conventional lemons and labeled them as organic.
Of course, I lost my mind, issued huge press releases about the scandal, issued apologies and refunds, and lost sleep over it for weeks. My Oura ring showed all my biomarkers went straight into the trash.
THEN, this hypothetical psychopath in the daydream who did this to “test” me revealed it was an elaborate ruse just to see what I would do. They wanted to see if I would stand up to my values or try to cover it up! The lemons had never been conventional at all — they were actually organic, they had just created this entire “scandal“ just to see what I would do.
Jeez, a very involved daydream!
In the daydream, my response is thermonuclear: on the verge of expanding the co-op / lab food to other locations, I sell it and walk away. I do NOT look back. I’m disgusted beyond comprehension at what this one person has done. I’m sickened by someone attacking me in this way — it’s an assault.
To be lied to is to be physically assaulted: now that we have Oura rings, this is a demonstrable fact. Maybe someone doesn’t physically touch you with their hand, but if they lie, and that crucifies your heart rate variability, and it makes your heart rate shoot up, that’s an assault.
What the daydream clarified is that I’m not the kind of person who can engage with a big swath of the general population because people really do lie and they really do misguided things like this.
In the daydream, the person who “tested“ me thought it was a noble action to ensure that I was living up to my values. But that is so theoretical — it so deeply fails to comprehend the costs to me as a living, breathing human being, who poured their soul into trying to create something good for humanity, only to have my health decimated by a “test.“ The world is hard enough, without having people create drama for theoretical purposes.
So this very elaborate fantasy made me realize I want to maximize for the level of consciousness of the people that I engage with more than anything else.
People who approach the world from the mind, and not the heart or soul, are not people I want to have anything to do with.
Because this is the kind of action they can take — extremely misguided, “theoretical” “testing” “just to see what happens” — dissociated from fundamental compassion. They don’t LIVE from a place of embodied humanity; they lack the somatic understanding that we are biological primates who harm each other by doing things from the mind and not the heart.
As the world becomes more and more run by AI and algorithms and robots, reclaiming our humanity gets harder and harder.
Thus, maximizing for basic humanity in our interactions and choices — according each other compassion and connection at the most basic levels — seems like a very important value these days!
100% agree. Having just turned 60 (and experiencing a LOT of loss in my 50s) - I now know with crystal clarity that love, friendships, contribution and connection are the only things that ultimately matter in this life. I've found there's something about loss (and its companion, grief) that is profoundly humbling and perspective-shifting, and seems to spur people to want to be more generous, more compassionate. In my younger days, my priorities were definitely elsewhere (work, ambition) - but now, I have never felt more certain about anything than this.
wrote the longest reply, and “love” is all I needed to say. LOL! Thanks for your pithy clarity, Kristin. My deepest condolences on the sudden loss of your husband.