I absolutely resonate with this post. I always wondered why I couldn't "eat the frog" but instead do smaller tasks first. I always thought I was avoiding the big task and feeling bad about putting it off, but I appreciate the way you frame how doing the small tasks is more beneficial for me. Doing something small will then help me build up to doing the big thing because I'll have momentum. Also, structured procrastination just makes me feel awesome. :) Thanks again!
Helpful advice! It’s kinda like that other tip which is taking one little step the night before to set up your to do for the morning in a way, or they overlap at least…
As I was reading this, I kept thinking about fried frog legs. They’re pretty delicious but not, of course right off the frog, you have to batter and season them and fry them first. Which is like what you’re talking about here. Set up the frog to taste good when you eat it. 🤣
Love LOVE this post! It's a beautiful way of working WITH your neurotype instead of against it. Also ... we have more dopamine available to us at the start of the day, so eating that frog is the fastest way to deplete it - maybe get more done when we have more to do it with? It also reminds me of Jessica McCabe's 'How to ADHD' Youtube channel, where she talks about climbing the wall - sometimes tackling a big thing just takes a little time for us to muster our mental resources and face the climb! For example, I've lost track of how many people I've heard say how essential it is to do a night-time tidy and clean and 'reset' - and I just damn hate it. However, I don't mind at all doing that in 10-15 minutes before I leave the house in the morning, so I still come home to a nicer place. It's about finding what works for us and not letting other people let us feel guilty. And it works! I started just 20 minutes of gently moving my body in February - and today I spent 1 hour working out. I guess it's about knowing what to accept (my neurotype and how it works) and what to challenge (black or white thinking that gets me nowhere). Thanks, Chris!!
As a therapist, I see a similarity to knowingly using a paradoxical intervention with yourself or as in DBT, taking opposite action. It’s lovely, and it works.
Yes!! One of my favourite sayings of Marsha Linehan (who founded DBT) is 'how's that working for you?' - if the 'neurotypical' way isn't working, let's find another! Instead of good or bad (very subjective), I tend to ask clients how effective are your behaviours? Because that can be objectively judged against a goal. Thanks, Marilyn - great point!!
Thanks so much for your reply Fiona. I wondered after posting it whether it made any sense. Paradoxical intervention is something I just always have done intuitively and ADHD kids just seem to love it because I wasn’t coming at them I was right alongside them, play being so very important. I’m not practicing presently I miss it focusing more on my writing and my own health. I think it’s funny that I find myself gravitating towards this Substack “year of mental health” thread rather than the overtly writing ones because there’s a crispness and freshness to it. I guess once a therapist always a therapist. Emotional honesty always a precious gem.❤️
Usually save mowing the lawn til late evening. It’s cooler. Theoretically I have less energy at days end but it works. Recently learned that mowing around late morning is best for lawn. Tried it. Exhausted all day and slept fitfully all night and woke with achy muscles. Going back to late evening mowing.
Same with making difficult phone calls. Do it first thing in the morning n if it goes bad, it ruins the day. Save it for last n you may dodge the bullet altogether.
That’s what I do. I didn’t have a term for it but when a work project feels overwhelming, I’ll start by formatting or just opening a document and labeling it.
I also think that if I’m procrastinating, there’s probably a good reason for it. Maybe I don’t understand the task or lack the skills or I just plain hate the idea think that should be addressed.
The thing I always keep in mind is that "hesitation means no." The "frog" in question is probably a bit too big and it won't get any smaller the more you think about it. The idea is to break it down into smaller sized tasks, almost so small you'd be offended if you didn't do it, and then take action. Once you get to that point, you often can find you have some energy to do take on that frog a little more.
Kaizen life is the best because it forces you to get things in order, make it smaller, make things more executable, and never shoot for something big simply because it is there.
I already knew this strategy to be one that works for me as someone with ADHD, but I never saw it described in this way, granting me “permission” to do it on purpose. I think it boils down to momentum. I am already pretty good at hyper-focusing when I get into a task. It’s the starting that I struggle with. If I can start on something that’s going to give me a shot of dopamine, then I’m likelier to keep going and get the hard part done as well. The struggle is when time doesn’t allow me to complete something in the allotted time, and I have to “restart” another day. Why does restarting always feel harder than starting? This is why I haven’t written a book yet!
Oof. Taxes in Germany were so awful for me the first few years I lived here that, even though I now have a better system, my nervous system goes into full panic mode when I think about doing them at all. I've found that using this approach where I do tax-filing adjacent tasks like gathering invoices and receipts and entering income into my accounting program helps make it all feel more doable.
This year I'm also letting the software file my taxes for me, which I'm hoping goes much more smoothly (and cheaply) than working with an advisor. Wish me luck!
Great post. I think I've been practicing this sort of structured procrastination without knowing it, though my (less good) version involves taking on something even bigger than whatever I'm avoiding, and then to start procastinating on THAT by doing the earlier, smaller thing I was dreading. Obviously, this snowballs in a bad way, even though it does work as a system. Going to make some adjustments based on the advice here. Thanks, Chris!
When I engage in some “procrastivity,” I’m building momentum where motivation won’t work. Just doing SOMETHING propels me and momentum is way more useful than relying in motivation.
For a long time, I’ve needed to renovate my bathroom. I have HLA-DR genes that are breathtakingly poor at mold clearance, so for optimal health, I need to be way more scrupulous than most people about mold avoidance.
My bathtub was installed incorrectly and water pools in all the corners, necessitating a new tub installation. I’m aware that the ‘overflow hole’ in my sink is a mold trap, and the same goes for having a two-piece instead of a one-piece toilet (mold loves to develop between the top and bottom half of two-piece toilets). Ergo: I need to renovate my entire bathroom.
But I have to do it in a totally non-toxic way because of my questionable detox pathways. I have a huge advantage in doing this project: my brother OWNS a tile business, Sarisand Tile, and can help me buy all the materials! Nonetheless, he doesn’t specialize in ultra nontoxic installations, so I still have to research every glue, every tile, every material, and I feel utterly stymied by the overwhelming nature of how much effort it will take to do the project ONCE and do it right. I’ll start listening to nontoxic home renovation podcasts, get a little clarity, get overwhelmed, and give up.
As a life coach, I desperately want to move forward with important life tasks, but this is one area where I’ve been stymied for years and years.
This February, I started using an intense method of coaching called Deep
Magic to push forward past my usual inner resistance. As a result, I did a detox I’ve been wanting to do for years — the Hubbard protocol niacin-sauna detox. I used my gym sauna to do it. That was horrible in many ways — I learned the United States has zero sauna etiquette, and fully 40% of everyone who uses a gym sauna wears their gym clothes in the sauna, which is troubling, considering that gym clothing tends to be made out of petroleum, and heating polyester/petroleum-based clothing up to 180° aerosolizes questionable chemicals, not to mention that, if you sweat into petroleum-based clothing, you absorb those chemicals!
Worse, about 10% of people wear their shoes in the sauna— heating up and dispersing I-don’t-know-what their shoes have encountered (dog feces/ viruses/ bacteria) which I find completely disgusting. Because there is no traditional, “wear a towel and detox” sauna culture in the United States, it’s impossible to enforce any kind of sauna etiquette – it’s a free-for-all. Even though the door to the sauna says “do not wear shoes in the sauna,“ the gym will not enforce this rule, so…if you use a gym sauna, and you’re opposed to people wearing their shoes in it, either you have to become a police officer, or you have to accept shoes in the sauna. There are no other options in American gyms.
The only solution I’ve found is to buy your own sauna and opt out of the gym sauna!
I loved the sauna detox so much, and I loathed the lack of traditional sauna culture at the gym so much, that it propelled me past all known barriers inside me, and I finally bit the bullet, and actually bought my own sauna!
I had wanted to buy a sauna for years and years, but I figured that I had to wait until I renovated my bathroom before I bought the sauna. Because really, that’s what makes sense.
But I just couldn’t make the larger goal of renovating the entire bathroom happen. And even though these are both huge investments — extremely expensive, complicated, and multi-step hassles — the sauna was the lower hanging fruit.
So I used this exact technique of procrastinating on the larger thing — the bathroom remodel — to at least accomplish the second thing — buying the sauna. I had to spend thousands of dollars upgrading my circuit breaker because I needed a 20 amp outlet — so I had to hire an electrician, get a new circuit breaker box, and rewire an outlet, all so that I could plug in the sauna. Which was not an easy task! But it was easier than remodeling my whole bathroom, so it got done!
The sauna is coming today!! I’m astonished I made it happen. I also feel kind of bad that I spent all this money on the sauna, when I know the bathroom remodel is a higher priority.
But this post makes me feel better about at least getting one thing done. And now that I’ve made this happen, I have confidence that it’s cleared the way for getting the bathroom remodel done further down the road. It’s not ideal, but it’s better than nothing. I’ll take it!!
The food prep tip was a game-changer for me. I find it very hard to motivate myself to do anything in the early evening, let alone start a meal. But even something as simple as laying out the ingredients on the worktop makes it easier to dive in.
I've read the book about eating frogs. I beat myself up because I couldn't make it work for my brain and spiraled into thinking I'm even more broken for it. I like this idea of letting the frog be and getting the smaller things done. I did that today and actually ended up with motivation to begin the actual work on my big ugly frog goals. Thank you for this.
I really love this and it's definitely something I'm trying to do more of. Sort of sneaking up on the big thing while it's not looking, then before you know it you've made a start and suddenly it doesn't look as daunting any more
I absolutely resonate with this post. I always wondered why I couldn't "eat the frog" but instead do smaller tasks first. I always thought I was avoiding the big task and feeling bad about putting it off, but I appreciate the way you frame how doing the small tasks is more beneficial for me. Doing something small will then help me build up to doing the big thing because I'll have momentum. Also, structured procrastination just makes me feel awesome. :) Thanks again!
Helpful advice! It’s kinda like that other tip which is taking one little step the night before to set up your to do for the morning in a way, or they overlap at least…
As I was reading this, I kept thinking about fried frog legs. They’re pretty delicious but not, of course right off the frog, you have to batter and season them and fry them first. Which is like what you’re talking about here. Set up the frog to taste good when you eat it. 🤣
Love LOVE this post! It's a beautiful way of working WITH your neurotype instead of against it. Also ... we have more dopamine available to us at the start of the day, so eating that frog is the fastest way to deplete it - maybe get more done when we have more to do it with? It also reminds me of Jessica McCabe's 'How to ADHD' Youtube channel, where she talks about climbing the wall - sometimes tackling a big thing just takes a little time for us to muster our mental resources and face the climb! For example, I've lost track of how many people I've heard say how essential it is to do a night-time tidy and clean and 'reset' - and I just damn hate it. However, I don't mind at all doing that in 10-15 minutes before I leave the house in the morning, so I still come home to a nicer place. It's about finding what works for us and not letting other people let us feel guilty. And it works! I started just 20 minutes of gently moving my body in February - and today I spent 1 hour working out. I guess it's about knowing what to accept (my neurotype and how it works) and what to challenge (black or white thinking that gets me nowhere). Thanks, Chris!!
As a therapist, I see a similarity to knowingly using a paradoxical intervention with yourself or as in DBT, taking opposite action. It’s lovely, and it works.
Yes!! One of my favourite sayings of Marsha Linehan (who founded DBT) is 'how's that working for you?' - if the 'neurotypical' way isn't working, let's find another! Instead of good or bad (very subjective), I tend to ask clients how effective are your behaviours? Because that can be objectively judged against a goal. Thanks, Marilyn - great point!!
Thanks so much for your reply Fiona. I wondered after posting it whether it made any sense. Paradoxical intervention is something I just always have done intuitively and ADHD kids just seem to love it because I wasn’t coming at them I was right alongside them, play being so very important. I’m not practicing presently I miss it focusing more on my writing and my own health. I think it’s funny that I find myself gravitating towards this Substack “year of mental health” thread rather than the overtly writing ones because there’s a crispness and freshness to it. I guess once a therapist always a therapist. Emotional honesty always a precious gem.❤️
Usually save mowing the lawn til late evening. It’s cooler. Theoretically I have less energy at days end but it works. Recently learned that mowing around late morning is best for lawn. Tried it. Exhausted all day and slept fitfully all night and woke with achy muscles. Going back to late evening mowing.
Same with making difficult phone calls. Do it first thing in the morning n if it goes bad, it ruins the day. Save it for last n you may dodge the bullet altogether.
That’s what I do. I didn’t have a term for it but when a work project feels overwhelming, I’ll start by formatting or just opening a document and labeling it.
I also think that if I’m procrastinating, there’s probably a good reason for it. Maybe I don’t understand the task or lack the skills or I just plain hate the idea think that should be addressed.
I have nothing profound to say, except that I laughed for two minutes about the frogs. Yeah I think I’ll stay friends with them.
The thing I always keep in mind is that "hesitation means no." The "frog" in question is probably a bit too big and it won't get any smaller the more you think about it. The idea is to break it down into smaller sized tasks, almost so small you'd be offended if you didn't do it, and then take action. Once you get to that point, you often can find you have some energy to do take on that frog a little more.
Kaizen life is the best because it forces you to get things in order, make it smaller, make things more executable, and never shoot for something big simply because it is there.
I already knew this strategy to be one that works for me as someone with ADHD, but I never saw it described in this way, granting me “permission” to do it on purpose. I think it boils down to momentum. I am already pretty good at hyper-focusing when I get into a task. It’s the starting that I struggle with. If I can start on something that’s going to give me a shot of dopamine, then I’m likelier to keep going and get the hard part done as well. The struggle is when time doesn’t allow me to complete something in the allotted time, and I have to “restart” another day. Why does restarting always feel harder than starting? This is why I haven’t written a book yet!
Oof. Taxes in Germany were so awful for me the first few years I lived here that, even though I now have a better system, my nervous system goes into full panic mode when I think about doing them at all. I've found that using this approach where I do tax-filing adjacent tasks like gathering invoices and receipts and entering income into my accounting program helps make it all feel more doable.
This year I'm also letting the software file my taxes for me, which I'm hoping goes much more smoothly (and cheaply) than working with an advisor. Wish me luck!
Great post. I think I've been practicing this sort of structured procrastination without knowing it, though my (less good) version involves taking on something even bigger than whatever I'm avoiding, and then to start procastinating on THAT by doing the earlier, smaller thing I was dreading. Obviously, this snowballs in a bad way, even though it does work as a system. Going to make some adjustments based on the advice here. Thanks, Chris!
Thank you, Catherine! I loved your book. Always nice to see you around. 🤓
Same, man! Big big fan. Really looking forward to your next one. :)
Brilliant! Another great post. I’ve definitely felt overwhelmed by some of the things I need to address. This helps.
Thanks so much!
When I engage in some “procrastivity,” I’m building momentum where motivation won’t work. Just doing SOMETHING propels me and momentum is way more useful than relying in motivation.
Procrastivity! I love that. ⭐️
Procrastivity! That’s a keeper. Thanks!!
For a long time, I’ve needed to renovate my bathroom. I have HLA-DR genes that are breathtakingly poor at mold clearance, so for optimal health, I need to be way more scrupulous than most people about mold avoidance.
My bathtub was installed incorrectly and water pools in all the corners, necessitating a new tub installation. I’m aware that the ‘overflow hole’ in my sink is a mold trap, and the same goes for having a two-piece instead of a one-piece toilet (mold loves to develop between the top and bottom half of two-piece toilets). Ergo: I need to renovate my entire bathroom.
But I have to do it in a totally non-toxic way because of my questionable detox pathways. I have a huge advantage in doing this project: my brother OWNS a tile business, Sarisand Tile, and can help me buy all the materials! Nonetheless, he doesn’t specialize in ultra nontoxic installations, so I still have to research every glue, every tile, every material, and I feel utterly stymied by the overwhelming nature of how much effort it will take to do the project ONCE and do it right. I’ll start listening to nontoxic home renovation podcasts, get a little clarity, get overwhelmed, and give up.
As a life coach, I desperately want to move forward with important life tasks, but this is one area where I’ve been stymied for years and years.
This February, I started using an intense method of coaching called Deep
Magic to push forward past my usual inner resistance. As a result, I did a detox I’ve been wanting to do for years — the Hubbard protocol niacin-sauna detox. I used my gym sauna to do it. That was horrible in many ways — I learned the United States has zero sauna etiquette, and fully 40% of everyone who uses a gym sauna wears their gym clothes in the sauna, which is troubling, considering that gym clothing tends to be made out of petroleum, and heating polyester/petroleum-based clothing up to 180° aerosolizes questionable chemicals, not to mention that, if you sweat into petroleum-based clothing, you absorb those chemicals!
Worse, about 10% of people wear their shoes in the sauna— heating up and dispersing I-don’t-know-what their shoes have encountered (dog feces/ viruses/ bacteria) which I find completely disgusting. Because there is no traditional, “wear a towel and detox” sauna culture in the United States, it’s impossible to enforce any kind of sauna etiquette – it’s a free-for-all. Even though the door to the sauna says “do not wear shoes in the sauna,“ the gym will not enforce this rule, so…if you use a gym sauna, and you’re opposed to people wearing their shoes in it, either you have to become a police officer, or you have to accept shoes in the sauna. There are no other options in American gyms.
The only solution I’ve found is to buy your own sauna and opt out of the gym sauna!
I loved the sauna detox so much, and I loathed the lack of traditional sauna culture at the gym so much, that it propelled me past all known barriers inside me, and I finally bit the bullet, and actually bought my own sauna!
I had wanted to buy a sauna for years and years, but I figured that I had to wait until I renovated my bathroom before I bought the sauna. Because really, that’s what makes sense.
But I just couldn’t make the larger goal of renovating the entire bathroom happen. And even though these are both huge investments — extremely expensive, complicated, and multi-step hassles — the sauna was the lower hanging fruit.
So I used this exact technique of procrastinating on the larger thing — the bathroom remodel — to at least accomplish the second thing — buying the sauna. I had to spend thousands of dollars upgrading my circuit breaker because I needed a 20 amp outlet — so I had to hire an electrician, get a new circuit breaker box, and rewire an outlet, all so that I could plug in the sauna. Which was not an easy task! But it was easier than remodeling my whole bathroom, so it got done!
The sauna is coming today!! I’m astonished I made it happen. I also feel kind of bad that I spent all this money on the sauna, when I know the bathroom remodel is a higher priority.
But this post makes me feel better about at least getting one thing done. And now that I’ve made this happen, I have confidence that it’s cleared the way for getting the bathroom remodel done further down the road. It’s not ideal, but it’s better than nothing. I’ll take it!!
Here’s to productive procrastination!
The food prep tip was a game-changer for me. I find it very hard to motivate myself to do anything in the early evening, let alone start a meal. But even something as simple as laying out the ingredients on the worktop makes it easier to dive in.
I've read the book about eating frogs. I beat myself up because I couldn't make it work for my brain and spiraled into thinking I'm even more broken for it. I like this idea of letting the frog be and getting the smaller things done. I did that today and actually ended up with motivation to begin the actual work on my big ugly frog goals. Thank you for this.
I really love this and it's definitely something I'm trying to do more of. Sort of sneaking up on the big thing while it's not looking, then before you know it you've made a start and suddenly it doesn't look as daunting any more