A while back, I told the story of my two-day job as a telemarketer at the age of sixteen. This was a pretty extreme case of trying to be someone I wasn’t—a counterfeit self, as I called it. Thankfully, it didn’t last long.
At the end of my second day, the call center boss suggested that I might be better suited for another form of employment. I said that I’d understand if he wanted to replace me with someone else.
“That’s good,” he told me. “Because we already have.”
Oops. Well—it’s probably for the best that I wasn’t cut out to be a star telemarketer.
In the short video below, I share a different story of pretending—or in this case, of overcoming the urge to pretend and instead showing up as my true self.
It happened during a business interview when I ended up talking about death. Not quite what the interviewer was expecting! They wanted to talk with me about email marketing. But it felt right at the time and I'm glad I went for it.
When you start to show up as your true self, it can be a little jarring—and not only to others, but also to you. Pretending is easier! At least it seems so at first. But as you get more used to being yourself, pretending starts to feel unnatural.
Interestingly, being more like your true self can end up putting other people at ease as well. No one wants to pretend; we just do it because it seems like we’re supposed to.
Do you feel like you have to pretend in social interactions? Sometimes we do it to protect ourselves, but it can be exhausting.
Trying to pretend I was okay when my financial situation had taken a toll on me was exhausting. While I wasn’t ready at the time to give the full story, I did start talking about it more in podcast interviews and in my own writing. It was freeing— like I was allow a part of myself that was carrying so much to be witnessed.
I am what I am what I am and I have always liked what I am...and have never had a desire to be other than what I am. I like me! My husband used to say, "You really like yourself! Don't you?" i would reply, "Why not?"