Manage The Struggle Tax Without Fighting Your Brain
What do to about the struggle tax—or in some cases, what NOT to do.
What if I told you that sometimes the best way to deal with executive function challenges isn't to fix them at all?
Last week I wrote about The Struggle Tax, or the unexpected cost of executive functioning difficulties.
Adults with executive function challenges can face up to three times higher financial costs annually compared to their peers. This means someone struggling with executive functions might pay $3,000 in late fees, forgotten subscriptions, and impulse purchases where others pay $1,000.
I said that I’d follow-up with a post more focused on solutions—so we’ll do that here! I have a few suggestions, but as I was thinking about it, I realized something should be said before any “try this” ideas.
Ready?
Here’s the alternative take: you can also just accept it. That’s right, you can just decide to PAY the struggle tax and move on.
I don’t mean you accept that you’re a failure, that you’ll never improve, and that all those negative self-talk stories you tell yourself are true.
I just mean you optimize for what’s working in your life.
Is the Struggle Tax so bad that it’s severely impacting major parts of your life—or is it just more of an annoyance?
If it’s the latter, think of the Struggle Tax as a toll. It’s no fun to pay tolls, but is “Don’t pay tolls?” your mission in life? I’d suggest there are more important life goals to occupy your time and energy.
Here's what this looks like in practice:
Late on paying taxes—oh well, you just pay them later. Maybe there’s a penalty of some kind, so you deal with it and move on
Too many subscriptions—cancel them when you can! Maybe be more careful about signing up for stuff that might not work out. But don’t beat yourself up about it either way.
Missing out on something—something else will come along! I’ve always liked the classic Richard Branson quote: “Business opportunities are like buses. There’s always another one coming.”
Of course, the lesson applies to more than just business opportunities. Whatever you feel like you’re missing out on, you might be better off to simply let some things go by.
While radical acceptance is powerful, there are times when the Struggle Tax becomes too costly – both financially and emotionally. For those moments, here are three strategies that have worked for me and others:
1. Choose the Path of Least Resistance
Perhaps this is a less severe version of the scenario above, where you just pay the Struggle Tax and move on.
In this version, instead of fighting your natural habits, make it easy to do the right thing and hard to mess up.
Put bills on autopay, keep supplies in every place you'll need them, and put the laundry basket where you actually drop your clothes—not where a home organizing expert says it "should" go.
2. Manage Energy, Not Time
Work with your brain's natural rhythms. Time management is not the real issue—it's about matching tasks to your energy levels.
Notice when you naturally focus best, when you're most creative, and when it’s just tough to get things done. Then, schedule accordingly. Maybe you do your best deep work at 11 PM, or perhaps you're sharpest right after your morning coffee. Stop fighting it. One reader wrote:
For me, this meant stopping the pretense of being a "morning person." Once I accepted that my brain doesn't fully wake up until 10am, I rearranged my schedule to do creative work in the evening and administrative tasks in the morning. My productivity doubled.
3. Conduct a “Friction Audit”
Take an honest look at what's really getting in your way. We often think we're "lazy" or "unmotivated" when actually there's a specific barrier making tasks harder than they need to be.
Look at the tasks you consistently avoid or delay. What exactly makes them difficult?
Sometimes it's something surprisingly simple—like needing a better parking strategy to get somewhere on time, or realizing you avoid the dishes because your sink is too shallow and splashes water everywhere. Find the real friction points, then eliminate them.
Here’s an example from another reader:
I realized I was always late because I kept losing my keys. The solution wasn't "try harder to remember" – it was installing a key hook by the door. Now I don’t have to remember!
That’s a great way to think differently about a common challenge. Whenever possible, make it easy on yourself!
***
The next time you find yourself paying a Struggle Tax, pause before beating yourself up about it. Ask yourself: “Is this a tax worth optimizing right now? Or would my energy be better spent elsewhere?”
Sometimes the most powerful solution is simply giving yourself permission to be exactly who you are.
Previously in this series—
Love this! Finding the friction points is so helpful in making the world work for you, instead of the other way around. I meditate in the morning, and I used to always sit in the same place -- even when I wanted to sit somewhere else -- because the thought of moving my mat or a cushion was too much. One morning I was feeling energetic and I moved my mat, and it was wonderful to have a change of pace. But the next morning, I couldn't face moving my mat, even though I wanted to sit somewhere else. I knew I needed to address the friction! I decided to put something comfortable by every spot I could possibly sit and now I can sit wherever I want without having to think about it. This sounds like a small thing, but it starts off my day with a sense of freedom.
I really love this! Especially as I'm about to empty my fridge and discover how much has spoiled or is well past expiration. I think it'll be a fun game to play with fellow ADHDers to see how much we paid in ADHD Fridge Tax! LOL!
I loved the analogy to paying tolls. My mission in life isn't to never pay tolls. That's brilliant!
I use a mantra "be cool with yourself" when these frustrating realizations hit, like a credit card bill that wasn't on autopay so I have to tack on a ridiculously large $30 late fee. That, or to steal a page from the Seinfeld script..."SERENITY NOW!"