I’m a Black woman who went to a state school, working in national media so I definitely know that paper about imposter syndrome. Our industry (which, I swear, I do love for all of its faults) has become incredibly elitist. It drives away so many people who don’t have the “right” education or the “right” background by making us feel like we’re there because we just fill some quota or we are “diversity hires,” instead of being there based on our own merit. It’s really challenging. I had really struggled with these feelings for years until that paper came out about imposter syndrome being a symptom of those biases. It was incredibly clarifying! Anyway, down with the things that make us all feel “less than,” for no real reason other than other people’s dumb biases!
1. The internet taught me a terrific way to put imposter syndrome on its head. It's called infiltrator syndrome. Instead of panicking that The Almighty They will find you out, congratulate yourself for sneaking past their radar and getting away with it. I've been using it in my own job. Compared to most of my co-workers, I'm (in my mind) wildly unqualified, but I do a good enough job that they gave me a promotion, those suckers.
2. No, I'm pretty sure that everybody is making it up as they go along.
3. I'm meeting up with a friend for dinner and long conversation (and other things) and the day after that I'm getting elevated and watching the livestream of a modern variety show.
I also consider the spotlight effect a part of imposter syndrome. The idea that not only are we not good enough, but everyone knows we aren't good enough so why should even bother and why not just eat ten more waffles today because that's all a piggy like me deserved.
Not... not that I have experienced that in the past.
Still, the idea is we asked our brain to keep us safe at some point and time and the brain is chiming in, following the order. Sometimes it is "I don't want to end up like (X)" while other times it is "I never want to go through (Y) again."
All these things matter, and if it doesn't serve you then it is time to tell your brain it is okay and you are safe. It won't believe you, it never does, but you can prove it with actions.
I have recently started saying out loud, "I am okay, I am safe" when my brain starts to think otherwise. And now my oldest daughter is saying it too! We both have anxiety and can get tricked into thinking we are unsafe when we aren't.
Our brains are hardwired to keep us safe, so that’s what they’re going to focus on. Also, our brains are problem-solvers, and therefore, often are problem creators to have a problem to solve. Sometimes, we must smile or laugh at the childlike innocence of the mind (ego) and let it go.
Agreed! Our amygdala is there to keep us from doing things like running into traffic, or carrying out inadvisable actions that follow the sentence, "I wonder what would happen if..."
The thing with our amygdalae is that they deserve some respect, and often get just the opposite. "What's wrong with me? Why am I afraid to do X?" Because our lovely reptile brains have one job, and they take it very seriously: keeping us alive.
My amygdala, who I've named Spike, is there 24/7 to help me stay safe and not to follow up on that "I wonder what would happen..." sentence. But, there are times to thank Spike and times to tell him to take a break and go get himself a Red Bull or something, because I have no room for fear to tag along on this journey.
If this sounds cool - go to any search engine, YouTube etc and look for Internal Family Systems... Lots of books to borrow and buy as well.
In the interest of being helpful, here is a link to a free embodied confidence Udemy -- it uses Havening Techniques, which is backed by neuroscience and can help you embody new beliefs. https://www.udemy.com/course/embodied-confidence/?couponCode=HIJAN2024 (no IFS in this, though you can haven + talk to your parts... it works out swell).
Excellent insights, Chris. I appreciate that you bring in the element of systemic inequality, and how reducing things to 'imposter syndrome' personalizes it to self-care, making it again 'our problem.'
I think also living within an economy driven by capitalist principles shapes the way we view the world and ourselves, often in ways we don't realize. Let's face it -- many industries rely on our insecurities to count on sales from us, particularly around self-care and beauty products. But also around the whole phenomenon of 'professionalization.' We think we need to be a certified this-or-that in order to rise above our sense that we might be an imposter. I've been in the world of meditation and mindfulness for a long time, and have had contact with many amazing teachers of those practices. But this last decade, the rise of high-priced programs that promise to certify one to become a meditation teacher have multiplied exponentially. Rather than a teacher/student relationship evolving organically, with relationship at the heart of it, these labels of certification are supposed to take the place of that. And profit is made. Yes, I'm a bit jaded!
I struggle with this one a lot. I think the concept of "imposter syndrome" is a very real thing. I've talked highly-qualified colleagues and family members through it. However, I have also seen people claiming imposter syndrome when they are actually sensing a very real skills deficit that could be addressed. They're just so terrified of being seen as incompetent that they're afraid to ask for help.
I think it comes back to just about anything else in the field of psychology. How is it affecting your life? Is it causing you to freeze up, withdraw, get defensive, or give up? Or is it causing you to move toward positive improvement in healthy ways?
I've developed a kind of flow chart to address this feeling when it comes up in my own life. If I feel like I have somehow "snuck" my way into a job/position that I'm not qualified for, can I take concrete steps to improve my skills in the areas where I feel a deficit? Is adding that to my schedule realistic and healthy? If so, I work on the skills.
On the other hand, if I can't identify what/how I need to improve (or if I'm already working on skills and still feel overwhelmed), maybe I really did get myself into a position that I'm not prepared for! At that point, it's a question of whether there actually is a more qualified person available (maybe I'm the best they could find!), and whether anyone is actually harmed by mediocre work done by the most qualified person available. Sometimes, this is the point where you realize that contacting a mentor for advice is a good idea.
If that doesn't bring me to a clear understanding of where the feeling is coming from and how to best address it, that becomes an issue to bring up for processing in therapy. Because it definitely could just be garden-variety anxiety. :)
"However, I have also seen people claiming imposter syndrome when they are actually sensing a very real skills deficit that could be addressed. They're just so terrified of being seen as incompetent that they're afraid to ask for help."
I have been the person realizing they have a skills deficit and when I asked for help, I got no support and then was asked to leave the job. The fear is real.
I totally get that! I have been there too. I just have realized that the fear doesn't ultimately fix anything. If it's that kind of environment, chances are good that anyone who values collaboration is not going to do well there anyway. But it's hard to convince the monkey mind of that!
The “imposter” you reference could also be called the role self, or the self we have adopted based on the role we are expected to play, by family or society or whomever. The role self or imposter may have served as an important protector at some point, but it can become detrimental if that’s all it knows how to do. In her book “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents,” psychologist Lindsay Gibson suggests identifying who is actually speaking when we hear that little voice in our heads. In other words, is that my true self? Or someone else?
Embrace the imposter. When I was just out of high school (a few decades ago) and looking for jobs, and all I could find were newspaper ads requiring X years of experience, my brother gave me some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten that has served me well my entire life: he said, “Never be afraid to be a fraud” 😁. He was joking, of course, but encouraged me to apply for positions I was not (yet) technically “qualified” for, but thought I could do. My next 2 jobs were very successful even though I admitted right in the interview that I didn’t have either the degree or the experience mentioned in the ad. I found most employers respect the hustle, and tend to value aspiration and confidence over experience and a sheepskin on the wall, and are willing to give people a chance who show initiative and let them train on the job. My first “fraud” was doing on-site service for PC’s under warranty. I had neither the education nor the experience “required”, but had worked on my own (older) computers as a hobby since I was a kid, and ended up making 4 times what my peers were earning that first year out of high school, then starting my own business before they were half way through their bachelors degrees. Yes, imposter syndrome is a thing, but you can choose to frame your lack of experience as a shameful secret and live in fear of discovery, or you can choose to frame it as chutzpah, own it, proclaim it proudly and you might find that others see it the same way!
When I was teaching art, I had severe imposter syndrome. I dreaded going into class each day and felt less and less prepared and unsure of the material; especially with regards to the experience and expertise of my peers.
Now that I’m teaching fitness, I feel in control of my material, and confident and joyful about what I’m doing. I realize that I could have been a good art teacher after all, but I am grateful to have found fitness and to have come to an understanding that mastery is all about self respect and love.
Thank you Chris for seeing and including me in such an important piece!
I think the imposter is a necessary good to prepare for what’s to come ones you break through a certain level of success (this is why the imposter is most likely only present in people who are pushed/pushes themselves outside of their comfort zone. Why would you have an imposter if you’ve got nothing to lose/prove etc).
There’s no end destination where the imposter is no longer. There will always be someone or something above or beyond you.
Rather than eliminating the imposter let’s embrace it as a friend in the journey and take it as a sign that you’re doing something right.
(Side note: this is the only way I’ve been able to reach an external success or 500k across mainstream social media for my embroidery art, which just so happens to be perfect for a wellness project!)
From an IFS perspective, there are PARTS of us that are separate from our true Self. These PARTS (who are often frozen young states of consciousness lost in the past) carry burdens of worthlessness, not-good-enoughness, unloveableness, etc.
When we are blended with these parts — when those parts are driving the bus of our personality — we believe these negative things about ourselves. But when we can get unblended or separated from those parts, and we get situated back in our true Self, we have more clarity about the truth of our capabilities.
The solution to the problem of these negative beliefs and feelings that these parts are carrying, is to learn how to separate from them, and then lovingly and compassionately heal the burdens they carry. Which is possible with… IFS (Internal Family Systems). You know I was going to say that!
But seriously, there has to be a technique or methodology to bridge the gap between “there are parts of me who carry negative beliefs” and “how do I get into my true Self in order to feel competent and capable?” If I knew better method than IFS, I would use it, but I’ve never found it, and so that is what I use!
Feeling like crap — an imposter — like I’m not good enough or not capable — is so yuck. The more I heal the parts of me that carry these burdens, the less I feel like crap and the more awesome it is to be liberated from those feelings of unworthiness over time. Which gives me the courage to keep posting about IFS! I know it’s not the only way to heal these burdens, but it’s my offering to this community.
If you’re looking for a method to bridge the gap between feeling like crap and getting separated from those parts of you that feel like crap, I invite you to learn more about IFS to see if it’s a technique that works for you. Google “Dick Shwartz IFS” for videos and intros, there are tons online. For books, I recommend all of his intro books, including “Introduction to Internal Family Systems,“ or his newest book, “No Bad Parts.“ One of my favorite books of all time is also his relationship / couples book, “You are the One You’ve Been Waiting For.”
This has definitely become a thing to talk about at work and I agree that everyone has some form of it at one time or another. If I break down the times I've really felt it, and even those closest to me, it's maybe mislabeled in a way that is intended to keep people down. If you reframe it, isn't it more like self awe? Instead of "I shouldn't be here it's I can't believe I'm here." Look at me, I'm flying. I have that feeling from time to time. It happened last week where I went to a meeting and there was a parking place reserved for me with my name and title and I just stared at it with this bizarre feeling of "really, I do that job?" If you are humble, you will inevitably at times feel like an imposter. That said, I coach a lot of women on this and often remind them that Eleanor Roosevelt said we should all, "do one thing every day that scares you." Have a great week friends!
I used to say that I suffered from imposter syndrome (one of many labels I have given myself/been diagnosed with). I now know that it was chronic OCD. I've come to understand that OCD will go after anything that you care about- the more you care about it, the more frighten it makes you of failing at the thing. I loved my job in education but my OCD made me feel like I was terrible at it, despite eventually having years of experience doing it.
However, like you've pointed out, my extreme negativity bias and jacked-up fear response was compounded by the environment I was in. Despite being in a female-dominated industry, patriarchal structures meant on the whole men had to do far less work and earned greater rewards. Nepotism was alive and strong so highly qualified candidates for management-style roles were overlooked time and time again. And rather than seeing the expectations placed on me for what they were- unrealistic, unattainable and politically-driven- I was unable to stop myself from internalising them.
Working on my beliefs about myself has helped me make a lot of progress. But removing myself from that environment was necessary. Not easy for everyone to do though and hard to fully escape from.
Excellent post, as usual. I was drawn to your question, "Do you ever feel like you’re acting in a play in which everyone else has a script, but you have to constantly improvise?" Constantly! And I see that as a positive! I can think on my feet, and have no lines to forget. Improv is one of my favorite art forms, and I think it's a great metaphor for life! In your IG video, you referenced social interactions, and the downside of feeling "out of the loop", but I look on my whole life as one great improv! Look out Second City!!
Kumu Hula Puna Kalama Dawson references Ha’a Ha’a, which simply translates to ‘humility.’ But Hawaiian humility doesn’t connect to what we often think of as meekness and subservience or any of that. Hawaiian Humility means to stand in your truth, unabashedly - to stand in the truth of who you Are. And from that comes strength, because the imposter (ego) isn't allowed to entertain thoughts that We need to be anyone other than exactly who We are, and there’s so much freedom in that. Be blessed!
1. Well, now I don't know what to believe about impostor syndrome! Ha, ha. Actually, I really like the reframing that the negative thoughts about oneself are the impostor. I have these recurring dreams about not really having graduated from high school/undergrad/grad school because somehow I've been skipping a class and, of course, I never did that. I posted about it on Facebook recently and it seems that the people who do not skip classes are the ones who have elaborate recurring dreams about inadvertently skipping classes/final exam/what-have-you and the myriad consequences of thinking you have a degree but you don't. I wonder if impostor syndrome works the same way... the ones who should be suffering from it do not.
2. Often with teaching, I actually feel like everyone else gets to improvise, but I'm the one who better have a highly detailed script memorized or I'm gonna be in trouble.
3. Having just finished grades and preparing materials for the next unit and having a lull in applying for jobs and having no concerts to prepare for, I am having to remind myself that it's okay to do nothing for a little bit. That's probably my self-care for the week.
I’m a Black woman who went to a state school, working in national media so I definitely know that paper about imposter syndrome. Our industry (which, I swear, I do love for all of its faults) has become incredibly elitist. It drives away so many people who don’t have the “right” education or the “right” background by making us feel like we’re there because we just fill some quota or we are “diversity hires,” instead of being there based on our own merit. It’s really challenging. I had really struggled with these feelings for years until that paper came out about imposter syndrome being a symptom of those biases. It was incredibly clarifying! Anyway, down with the things that make us all feel “less than,” for no real reason other than other people’s dumb biases!
1. The internet taught me a terrific way to put imposter syndrome on its head. It's called infiltrator syndrome. Instead of panicking that The Almighty They will find you out, congratulate yourself for sneaking past their radar and getting away with it. I've been using it in my own job. Compared to most of my co-workers, I'm (in my mind) wildly unqualified, but I do a good enough job that they gave me a promotion, those suckers.
2. No, I'm pretty sure that everybody is making it up as they go along.
3. I'm meeting up with a friend for dinner and long conversation (and other things) and the day after that I'm getting elevated and watching the livestream of a modern variety show.
Infiltrator syndrome! Yes!
I also consider the spotlight effect a part of imposter syndrome. The idea that not only are we not good enough, but everyone knows we aren't good enough so why should even bother and why not just eat ten more waffles today because that's all a piggy like me deserved.
Not... not that I have experienced that in the past.
Still, the idea is we asked our brain to keep us safe at some point and time and the brain is chiming in, following the order. Sometimes it is "I don't want to end up like (X)" while other times it is "I never want to go through (Y) again."
All these things matter, and if it doesn't serve you then it is time to tell your brain it is okay and you are safe. It won't believe you, it never does, but you can prove it with actions.
I have recently started saying out loud, "I am okay, I am safe" when my brain starts to think otherwise. And now my oldest daughter is saying it too! We both have anxiety and can get tricked into thinking we are unsafe when we aren't.
Our brains are hardwired to keep us safe, so that’s what they’re going to focus on. Also, our brains are problem-solvers, and therefore, often are problem creators to have a problem to solve. Sometimes, we must smile or laugh at the childlike innocence of the mind (ego) and let it go.
Agreed! Our amygdala is there to keep us from doing things like running into traffic, or carrying out inadvisable actions that follow the sentence, "I wonder what would happen if..."
The thing with our amygdalae is that they deserve some respect, and often get just the opposite. "What's wrong with me? Why am I afraid to do X?" Because our lovely reptile brains have one job, and they take it very seriously: keeping us alive.
My amygdala, who I've named Spike, is there 24/7 to help me stay safe and not to follow up on that "I wonder what would happen..." sentence. But, there are times to thank Spike and times to tell him to take a break and go get himself a Red Bull or something, because I have no room for fear to tag along on this journey.
Haha. I love that you’ve named him Spike!
Spike! LOL
I love so much that you called this a "part" of yourself. I've written about the possible parts in play (from the evidence-backed IFS perspective) for Imposter Syndrome as here: https://betterandbetterer.com/imposter-syndrome-whats-up-with-the-internal-fam/
If this sounds cool - go to any search engine, YouTube etc and look for Internal Family Systems... Lots of books to borrow and buy as well.
In the interest of being helpful, here is a link to a free embodied confidence Udemy -- it uses Havening Techniques, which is backed by neuroscience and can help you embody new beliefs. https://www.udemy.com/course/embodied-confidence/?couponCode=HIJAN2024 (no IFS in this, though you can haven + talk to your parts... it works out swell).
<3
Yeah, I was just thinking this post sounds like a smart IFS take on imposter syndrome! I like it :)
Excellent insights, Chris. I appreciate that you bring in the element of systemic inequality, and how reducing things to 'imposter syndrome' personalizes it to self-care, making it again 'our problem.'
I think also living within an economy driven by capitalist principles shapes the way we view the world and ourselves, often in ways we don't realize. Let's face it -- many industries rely on our insecurities to count on sales from us, particularly around self-care and beauty products. But also around the whole phenomenon of 'professionalization.' We think we need to be a certified this-or-that in order to rise above our sense that we might be an imposter. I've been in the world of meditation and mindfulness for a long time, and have had contact with many amazing teachers of those practices. But this last decade, the rise of high-priced programs that promise to certify one to become a meditation teacher have multiplied exponentially. Rather than a teacher/student relationship evolving organically, with relationship at the heart of it, these labels of certification are supposed to take the place of that. And profit is made. Yes, I'm a bit jaded!
Thanks as always for your stellar writing.
I struggle with this one a lot. I think the concept of "imposter syndrome" is a very real thing. I've talked highly-qualified colleagues and family members through it. However, I have also seen people claiming imposter syndrome when they are actually sensing a very real skills deficit that could be addressed. They're just so terrified of being seen as incompetent that they're afraid to ask for help.
I think it comes back to just about anything else in the field of psychology. How is it affecting your life? Is it causing you to freeze up, withdraw, get defensive, or give up? Or is it causing you to move toward positive improvement in healthy ways?
I've developed a kind of flow chart to address this feeling when it comes up in my own life. If I feel like I have somehow "snuck" my way into a job/position that I'm not qualified for, can I take concrete steps to improve my skills in the areas where I feel a deficit? Is adding that to my schedule realistic and healthy? If so, I work on the skills.
On the other hand, if I can't identify what/how I need to improve (or if I'm already working on skills and still feel overwhelmed), maybe I really did get myself into a position that I'm not prepared for! At that point, it's a question of whether there actually is a more qualified person available (maybe I'm the best they could find!), and whether anyone is actually harmed by mediocre work done by the most qualified person available. Sometimes, this is the point where you realize that contacting a mentor for advice is a good idea.
If that doesn't bring me to a clear understanding of where the feeling is coming from and how to best address it, that becomes an issue to bring up for processing in therapy. Because it definitely could just be garden-variety anxiety. :)
Totally agree 💯 %‼️
"However, I have also seen people claiming imposter syndrome when they are actually sensing a very real skills deficit that could be addressed. They're just so terrified of being seen as incompetent that they're afraid to ask for help."
I have been the person realizing they have a skills deficit and when I asked for help, I got no support and then was asked to leave the job. The fear is real.
I totally get that! I have been there too. I just have realized that the fear doesn't ultimately fix anything. If it's that kind of environment, chances are good that anyone who values collaboration is not going to do well there anyway. But it's hard to convince the monkey mind of that!
The “imposter” you reference could also be called the role self, or the self we have adopted based on the role we are expected to play, by family or society or whomever. The role self or imposter may have served as an important protector at some point, but it can become detrimental if that’s all it knows how to do. In her book “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents,” psychologist Lindsay Gibson suggests identifying who is actually speaking when we hear that little voice in our heads. In other words, is that my true self? Or someone else?
Embrace the imposter. When I was just out of high school (a few decades ago) and looking for jobs, and all I could find were newspaper ads requiring X years of experience, my brother gave me some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten that has served me well my entire life: he said, “Never be afraid to be a fraud” 😁. He was joking, of course, but encouraged me to apply for positions I was not (yet) technically “qualified” for, but thought I could do. My next 2 jobs were very successful even though I admitted right in the interview that I didn’t have either the degree or the experience mentioned in the ad. I found most employers respect the hustle, and tend to value aspiration and confidence over experience and a sheepskin on the wall, and are willing to give people a chance who show initiative and let them train on the job. My first “fraud” was doing on-site service for PC’s under warranty. I had neither the education nor the experience “required”, but had worked on my own (older) computers as a hobby since I was a kid, and ended up making 4 times what my peers were earning that first year out of high school, then starting my own business before they were half way through their bachelors degrees. Yes, imposter syndrome is a thing, but you can choose to frame your lack of experience as a shameful secret and live in fear of discovery, or you can choose to frame it as chutzpah, own it, proclaim it proudly and you might find that others see it the same way!
When I was teaching art, I had severe imposter syndrome. I dreaded going into class each day and felt less and less prepared and unsure of the material; especially with regards to the experience and expertise of my peers.
Now that I’m teaching fitness, I feel in control of my material, and confident and joyful about what I’m doing. I realize that I could have been a good art teacher after all, but I am grateful to have found fitness and to have come to an understanding that mastery is all about self respect and love.
Love & self love as the antidotes to imposter syndrome! Yes!
Thank you Chris for seeing and including me in such an important piece!
I think the imposter is a necessary good to prepare for what’s to come ones you break through a certain level of success (this is why the imposter is most likely only present in people who are pushed/pushes themselves outside of their comfort zone. Why would you have an imposter if you’ve got nothing to lose/prove etc).
There’s no end destination where the imposter is no longer. There will always be someone or something above or beyond you.
Rather than eliminating the imposter let’s embrace it as a friend in the journey and take it as a sign that you’re doing something right.
(Side note: this is the only way I’ve been able to reach an external success or 500k across mainstream social media for my embroidery art, which just so happens to be perfect for a wellness project!)
Thanks again!
This take on imposter syndrome is right on!
From an IFS perspective, there are PARTS of us that are separate from our true Self. These PARTS (who are often frozen young states of consciousness lost in the past) carry burdens of worthlessness, not-good-enoughness, unloveableness, etc.
When we are blended with these parts — when those parts are driving the bus of our personality — we believe these negative things about ourselves. But when we can get unblended or separated from those parts, and we get situated back in our true Self, we have more clarity about the truth of our capabilities.
The solution to the problem of these negative beliefs and feelings that these parts are carrying, is to learn how to separate from them, and then lovingly and compassionately heal the burdens they carry. Which is possible with… IFS (Internal Family Systems). You know I was going to say that!
But seriously, there has to be a technique or methodology to bridge the gap between “there are parts of me who carry negative beliefs” and “how do I get into my true Self in order to feel competent and capable?” If I knew better method than IFS, I would use it, but I’ve never found it, and so that is what I use!
Feeling like crap — an imposter — like I’m not good enough or not capable — is so yuck. The more I heal the parts of me that carry these burdens, the less I feel like crap and the more awesome it is to be liberated from those feelings of unworthiness over time. Which gives me the courage to keep posting about IFS! I know it’s not the only way to heal these burdens, but it’s my offering to this community.
If you’re looking for a method to bridge the gap between feeling like crap and getting separated from those parts of you that feel like crap, I invite you to learn more about IFS to see if it’s a technique that works for you. Google “Dick Shwartz IFS” for videos and intros, there are tons online. For books, I recommend all of his intro books, including “Introduction to Internal Family Systems,“ or his newest book, “No Bad Parts.“ One of my favorite books of all time is also his relationship / couples book, “You are the One You’ve Been Waiting For.”
what is IFS? that's come up several times in this trhead.
Internal Family Systems, a psychotherapy method of working with parts of yourself.
Here’s an intro to IFS that I wrote but you can easily Google it & watch Richard Schwartz “Intro to IFS” videos also!
https://radicalifs.substack.com/p/introduction-to-internal-family-systems
Yes. ❤️❤️❤️ IFS could save the world. I am so happy that you posted such a thorough explanation and that you are pointing people to free resources. Btw This actually was unlocked today: Richard Schwartz, PhD https://www.consciouslife.com/conferences/tsc-4/sessions/moving-beyond-inner-defences
This was a really great talk! 😊
This has definitely become a thing to talk about at work and I agree that everyone has some form of it at one time or another. If I break down the times I've really felt it, and even those closest to me, it's maybe mislabeled in a way that is intended to keep people down. If you reframe it, isn't it more like self awe? Instead of "I shouldn't be here it's I can't believe I'm here." Look at me, I'm flying. I have that feeling from time to time. It happened last week where I went to a meeting and there was a parking place reserved for me with my name and title and I just stared at it with this bizarre feeling of "really, I do that job?" If you are humble, you will inevitably at times feel like an imposter. That said, I coach a lot of women on this and often remind them that Eleanor Roosevelt said we should all, "do one thing every day that scares you." Have a great week friends!
I used to say that I suffered from imposter syndrome (one of many labels I have given myself/been diagnosed with). I now know that it was chronic OCD. I've come to understand that OCD will go after anything that you care about- the more you care about it, the more frighten it makes you of failing at the thing. I loved my job in education but my OCD made me feel like I was terrible at it, despite eventually having years of experience doing it.
However, like you've pointed out, my extreme negativity bias and jacked-up fear response was compounded by the environment I was in. Despite being in a female-dominated industry, patriarchal structures meant on the whole men had to do far less work and earned greater rewards. Nepotism was alive and strong so highly qualified candidates for management-style roles were overlooked time and time again. And rather than seeing the expectations placed on me for what they were- unrealistic, unattainable and politically-driven- I was unable to stop myself from internalising them.
Working on my beliefs about myself has helped me make a lot of progress. But removing myself from that environment was necessary. Not easy for everyone to do though and hard to fully escape from.
Excellent post, as usual. I was drawn to your question, "Do you ever feel like you’re acting in a play in which everyone else has a script, but you have to constantly improvise?" Constantly! And I see that as a positive! I can think on my feet, and have no lines to forget. Improv is one of my favorite art forms, and I think it's a great metaphor for life! In your IG video, you referenced social interactions, and the downside of feeling "out of the loop", but I look on my whole life as one great improv! Look out Second City!!
Kumu Hula Puna Kalama Dawson references Ha’a Ha’a, which simply translates to ‘humility.’ But Hawaiian humility doesn’t connect to what we often think of as meekness and subservience or any of that. Hawaiian Humility means to stand in your truth, unabashedly - to stand in the truth of who you Are. And from that comes strength, because the imposter (ego) isn't allowed to entertain thoughts that We need to be anyone other than exactly who We are, and there’s so much freedom in that. Be blessed!
Hawaiian Humility means to stand in your truth, unabashedly— to stand in the truth of who you are.
That’s a keeper!! Thank you!
My pleasure, enjoy!
1. Well, now I don't know what to believe about impostor syndrome! Ha, ha. Actually, I really like the reframing that the negative thoughts about oneself are the impostor. I have these recurring dreams about not really having graduated from high school/undergrad/grad school because somehow I've been skipping a class and, of course, I never did that. I posted about it on Facebook recently and it seems that the people who do not skip classes are the ones who have elaborate recurring dreams about inadvertently skipping classes/final exam/what-have-you and the myriad consequences of thinking you have a degree but you don't. I wonder if impostor syndrome works the same way... the ones who should be suffering from it do not.
2. Often with teaching, I actually feel like everyone else gets to improvise, but I'm the one who better have a highly detailed script memorized or I'm gonna be in trouble.
3. Having just finished grades and preparing materials for the next unit and having a lull in applying for jobs and having no concerts to prepare for, I am having to remind myself that it's okay to do nothing for a little bit. That's probably my self-care for the week.