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Mary Shelton's avatar

Two and a half years ago I called a new therapist and left the message that I wanted to stop being caretaker to the world. I have worked hard on learning why I felt responsible for everyone's pain and need, including world leaders. At the venerable age of 80 I am discovering what it is like to identify what I am actually responsible for and what impact I can realistically have. I am learning freedom.

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Mary Roblyn's avatar

Chris, thank you. A very thought-provoking article. I took care of my husband after her was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer after 43 years of marriage. Enormous stress, lack of support, etc. Feelings of rage and terror when I drove him anywhere as he gave strangers the finger and yelled at me for driving the speed limit or stopping for a pedestrian. I was fortunate to have a good therapist who helped me understand his need for control, as he had no control over his illness. Much more to this story: I wrote about it in my latest post on Writer, interrupted (“Twist and Shout, I Told My Dying Husband”) and got a huge response. I don’t think I was brave, as people keep telling me. I would do it all over again, but hope I never have to.

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