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In Internal Family Systems (IFS), the difference between how something looks on paper and how it feels to your soul is the difference between parts of you, named managers, who are controlling your life, versus your true Self running the show.

Managers have great ideas, but often they fail to account for intangibles like joy, connection, and meaning.

The end of the year is a great time to discern the places in our lives where managers have slowly but surely eroded our joy and connection to our deepest creativity.

I’m definitely hitting a wall on this issue myself! I started offering online workshops called “IFS demo watch parties” because my parts thought it would be a great way to teach IFS—an IFS demonstration session that we all watch together, and then a Q&A afterwards. I had about two or three people attend every single workshop for four months.

Every single time I had such a low attendance, my whole entire system got more and more depressed about it. I tried changing the marketing, I tried lowering the price—nothing. Still only two or three people in every workshop.

If my managers had their way, they would just keep trying and trying, but I know that trying and trying is not the answer!

Happily, I sat with the sadness of this workshop idea not being received and accepted that for some reason people don’t want to watch IFS demos together in a little watch party structure! Just because it seemed good on paper, doesn’t mean that’s what people want to do!

So happily, I’m discontinuing these workshops and looking forward to more satisfying and meaningful ways to share my IFS expertise next year.

Taking the time to step back from what we’re doing and recalibrate so we can feel fulfilled, received and happy is such a great use of the end-of-year energy!

If it’s not working, let it go!

Here’s to a fulfilling, happy 2025!

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Michelle De Montag said in his quote the use of time and not just the amount of time is what matters most in determining the quality of our lives whether we put good use to time or not and just let the days and years pass by. So, my list of feelings were 1. Empowered 2.Secure 3. Determined 4.Serenity 5.Connected

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Here is my list of feelings I hope to experience daily:

WELL RESTED. CURIOUS. INSPIRED.

I was excited to see the nyc High Line mentioned! It’s on my bucket list. I frequently watch this documentary narrated by Sarandon on the evolution of the high line (it was almost demolished (!) save for the interest of two strangers who showed up together at a city meeting).

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7CgTlg_L_Sw

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Awesome concept! ✨️👍🏽

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Excited. Focused. In flow.

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As someone who tries to rationalize and over analyze, I love how this makes me switch gears.

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Loving this series, working through some of it today, and this question in particular I think will be pretty illuminating, not only in the moment of discovery, but as I build out my goals and actions list. Thanks!

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Immediately, alive and aligned come to mind. (I recently starting a consulting business and that is how I've felt when I have met two potential clients.) Also grounded and spacious.

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This morning I heard someone say happiness is a by-product of doing the next right thing.

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Michel De Montaigne

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