When things feel overwhelming, I appreciate that I grew up in the 70s when quicksand featured prominently in TV sitcoms.
I have never, ever encountered quicksand in real life! But you would think it was quite the menace if you watched the Brady Bunch or other TV shows 50 years ago!
And I’m here for it! The image of quicksand is so evocative. I love what it teaches: if you’re stuck, the best possible thing to do is stop thrashing around. Don’t struggle! Take a breath, get still, and calm down.
As you accept your situation, you’ll slowly but surely float to the surface. Then you can very gently swim away.
For me, nothing works better than remembering that struggle only sucks me FURTHER UNDER anything that’s upsetting me.
Facing it; encountering exactly what I’m feeling or doing or thinking or experiencing, and then being with it in whatever way I can—slowly but surely I wiggle out of the stuckness.
But the first step is to stop struggling.
Thanks you wacky 1970’s TV writers! I have no idea why quicksand became a meme back in the day, but it’s served me well over the years!
Your comment made me chuckle. I very clearly remember having very vivid nightmares/daymares, as a child, about the idea of getting stuck in quicksand. And as you say, it's such a great metaphor for life's overwhelming moments.
Sometimes in my writing when I get to a point in the story where I don’t know what happens next, or just feel stuck with the transition, I skip ahead. To the place where I want to be writing or to something further in the story. This always works in writing, but it can work in real life too. If I’m feeling discomfort, mired down, or just blah, I try to skip ahead to something I can do that feels good, exciting, or even, sometimes, worse in the moment. That probably doesn’t make sense but the worse in the moment thing is me taking on the next action that I’m dreading and just getting it off my plate. For some brief period of time it’s worse, but the freedom of doing it opens things up in a very good way. I’ve also been known to toss an entire to do list in the trash. It’s a literal wiping the slate clean. It always surprises me that most of the things on the tossed list are just gone. With no consequences at all. And I’ve moved forward.
I've found questions 8 and 15 to be so powerful in enabling much-needed perspective: we think we have 20/20 vision about ourselves and how we're sabotaging/enabling ourselves, but we never do!
When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I always go out for a walk, some rain or shine. Time in nature, even if it's just 10 minutes, is such a great re-setter for me. And the act of walking is so powerful, something about the gentle action and the fresh air just encourages clear-thinking.
A question I'd add to the list: what am I intuitively saying 'no' to but ignoring this 'no'? I've found it helps enormously when I have difficult decisions to make. Inevitably, when I ignore what I call this 'whole body, whole soul NO', that's when things usually go south pretty quickly.
Walking is so powerful. In wild, Cheryl strayed overcomes her heroin addiction by hiking the pacific crest trail. She discusses the calming nature of walking during times of stress. It’s free and it works.
This is a great checklist. I love the first one. “Emotions are data.” As someone not allowed to express feelings, I got “good” at bottling them up. Which is to say for far too many decades, I collected bad feelings without sorting them out until I had a meltdown of sorts. I wish I knew that anger is my subconscious’ reacting to me being taken advantage of possibly. I find radical self care is oftentimes my best defense to dealing with feelings. Lifting weights, shaking body parts to move stuck energy and physical movement are my go to therapies. But walking is by far the best antidote to too much social interaction.
These questions were amazing. Thank you! Just what I needed today to bring back some flow. I loved answering number 3, 4, 8, 10, 15 and found it powerful to ponder, am I waiting for a green light that isn't coming? And especially realizing what my priorities are and how simple they are if this were my last day on earth. I also loved what don't I want to admit? Thank you for sharing these with us! It is so powerful to have support in reorienting especially on dark, rainy, cold days!
These are great questions! I’m definitely going to save this post. I can see it being something I refer back to often, when I need to reflect and refocus. Thank you!
Also, I just started getting email newsletters and I’m loving your email banner!
When things feel overwhelming, I appreciate that I grew up in the 70s when quicksand featured prominently in TV sitcoms.
I have never, ever encountered quicksand in real life! But you would think it was quite the menace if you watched the Brady Bunch or other TV shows 50 years ago!
And I’m here for it! The image of quicksand is so evocative. I love what it teaches: if you’re stuck, the best possible thing to do is stop thrashing around. Don’t struggle! Take a breath, get still, and calm down.
As you accept your situation, you’ll slowly but surely float to the surface. Then you can very gently swim away.
For me, nothing works better than remembering that struggle only sucks me FURTHER UNDER anything that’s upsetting me.
Facing it; encountering exactly what I’m feeling or doing or thinking or experiencing, and then being with it in whatever way I can—slowly but surely I wiggle out of the stuckness.
But the first step is to stop struggling.
Thanks you wacky 1970’s TV writers! I have no idea why quicksand became a meme back in the day, but it’s served me well over the years!
Your comment made me chuckle. I very clearly remember having very vivid nightmares/daymares, as a child, about the idea of getting stuck in quicksand. And as you say, it's such a great metaphor for life's overwhelming moments.
Sometimes in my writing when I get to a point in the story where I don’t know what happens next, or just feel stuck with the transition, I skip ahead. To the place where I want to be writing or to something further in the story. This always works in writing, but it can work in real life too. If I’m feeling discomfort, mired down, or just blah, I try to skip ahead to something I can do that feels good, exciting, or even, sometimes, worse in the moment. That probably doesn’t make sense but the worse in the moment thing is me taking on the next action that I’m dreading and just getting it off my plate. For some brief period of time it’s worse, but the freedom of doing it opens things up in a very good way. I’ve also been known to toss an entire to do list in the trash. It’s a literal wiping the slate clean. It always surprises me that most of the things on the tossed list are just gone. With no consequences at all. And I’ve moved forward.
Very freeing suggestions. Thank you!
I've found questions 8 and 15 to be so powerful in enabling much-needed perspective: we think we have 20/20 vision about ourselves and how we're sabotaging/enabling ourselves, but we never do!
When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I always go out for a walk, some rain or shine. Time in nature, even if it's just 10 minutes, is such a great re-setter for me. And the act of walking is so powerful, something about the gentle action and the fresh air just encourages clear-thinking.
A question I'd add to the list: what am I intuitively saying 'no' to but ignoring this 'no'? I've found it helps enormously when I have difficult decisions to make. Inevitably, when I ignore what I call this 'whole body, whole soul NO', that's when things usually go south pretty quickly.
Walking is so powerful. In wild, Cheryl strayed overcomes her heroin addiction by hiking the pacific crest trail. She discusses the calming nature of walking during times of stress. It’s free and it works.
When I have 15+ minutes set away I like to use Jerry Colonna's question:
"How have I been complicit in creating the conditions I say I don't want?"
I always find some truth in it.
This is a great checklist. I love the first one. “Emotions are data.” As someone not allowed to express feelings, I got “good” at bottling them up. Which is to say for far too many decades, I collected bad feelings without sorting them out until I had a meltdown of sorts. I wish I knew that anger is my subconscious’ reacting to me being taken advantage of possibly. I find radical self care is oftentimes my best defense to dealing with feelings. Lifting weights, shaking body parts to move stuck energy and physical movement are my go to therapies. But walking is by far the best antidote to too much social interaction.
These questions were amazing. Thank you! Just what I needed today to bring back some flow. I loved answering number 3, 4, 8, 10, 15 and found it powerful to ponder, am I waiting for a green light that isn't coming? And especially realizing what my priorities are and how simple they are if this were my last day on earth. I also loved what don't I want to admit? Thank you for sharing these with us! It is so powerful to have support in reorienting especially on dark, rainy, cold days!
I appreciate each thought-provoking question. One day at a time and I will see what unfolds. Thank you
These are great questions! I’m definitely going to save this post. I can see it being something I refer back to often, when I need to reflect and refocus. Thank you!
Also, I just started getting email newsletters and I’m loving your email banner!