I am for doing thing for yourself if you can. Although not feasible for a lot of people for multiple reasons. He had a reason for doing so (to get away from it all) and he did but he didn't need permission to do so and it worked for him. Bravo!
Always a great reminder to live YOUR life NOW! Whatever that version may be! Fux whatever else people think! You’re not trying live their life you’re trying to live yours and ONLY you can do that 💪🏼👊🏻
When I was going through a rough divorce my coach did what we called Installing my “No”. I didn’t realize after being married 25yrs what no was! I didn’t have a No installed. I got extremely comfortable just saying Yes Dear to everything. Not knowing I was giving up so much of my personhood to avoid conflict.
When my coach finally got me to say “No”! To something it was a whole new world for me! She taught me that I didn’t have to give anyone an explanation on anything I was doing. I can simply say NO Period. And that was it!
Previously being a super compliant person I really didn’t understand the word NO!
It’s so empowering!
As in your story! I’m doing this because I want to…or because I can or because it’s a challenge! You really don’t need a lengthy explanation on why you are doing something. Maybe because it gives me Joy!! It’s your life story you are writing make it the best story you can!!
While doing something for yourself certainly is not immoral, breaking a lease d#mn well is! This means Bernard did not fulfill a legal commitment nor pay money he owed.
Basically, he chose to do something for himself at someone else's expense.
And note, even if the lease had an early termination clause, and he followed the terms, he still did harm. An early termination clause is "liquidated damages" in legal terms - in other words, compensation for damage inflicted. That is not moral.
I’m constantly doing things for myself. Even with three small kids. And three adult bonus kids. And a partner and business and school and and and… there are always people to take care of and things to do. The inbox is never empty. But neither am I. 🩶
I love this. It’s such a great reminder that we don’t always need a reason to do something for ourselves. Sometimes the “just because” is reason enough, and it can change everything. Really inspiring story!
There’s real courage in choosing yourself without needing a reason. Bernard didn’t do it for applause or redemption, he did it because his life no longer fit. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is stop explaining and just begin again.
We can also do little changes for ourselves too! Ive done big thing as well but the little stuff can have a significant impact as well. I’ve decided to wear the same outfit when I fly to make myself as comfy as possible, I’ve prioritized therapy, I’ve made room for others to invest in our relationship so I wasn’t doing all the hard work. I’m more peaceful and feel more fulfilled.
I absolutely ADORE this. I did something similar - I quit my job and decided to spend a year swimming in different places in Scandinavia (where I live). Quite literally spending time in service to the things that you like doing changes your life. It’s not selfish, though you have to fight against that feeling. It’s a very powerful life changing action.
I recently decided to take a sabbatical year after struggling deeply with burnout. Thank you for this encouraging post! Helps me know it’s okay not to live life in a straight line.
Congrats! Bernard for completing your epic bicycle journey across the USA.
I did something similar in 1980.
I thought it would be a good idea to see the USA for the very first time by cycling coast to coast.
I flew from Singapore and stayed at a hostel in Portland, Oregon and joined a group of Americans there who had also never seen certain parts of the USA themselves.
Some of the memorable places we visited were Three Sisters Mountains - Cascade Range, Oregon, Great Continental Divide, Yellowstone National Park with Old Faithful geyser, Grand Tetons National Park, Breckenridge - Hoosier Pass, Kansas, Salmon River white water rafting, Carbondale, Trappist Monastery, Missouri, Ozarks, White Bird Hill, Idaho (category 1 climb 6.9% avg gradient), the ice-cream lady, Colonial Williamsburg, Virginia, Bob Beckman who was famous for his legendary custom panniers (robertbeckmandesigns.net), Bruce Gordon custom framebuilder and crome moly front and rear racks (https://www.bgcycles.com/) and all the friendly, hospitable Americans we met along our adventure.
At that time I was the first Asian Chinese from Penang, Malaysia/Singapore to have successfully completed the TransAmerican Trail by Bikecentennial (Now called Adventure Cycling Association).
From Portland, Oregon to Yorktown, Virginia. 5,000 miles in three months.
A bicycle trip I will cherish forever with chiggers and Texas tacks (cause bicycle tyre punctures).
I resigned from my job as a heavy-duty diesel mechanic, for my USA coast-to-coast cycling adventure and returned to Singapore and started a new career as a personal trainer in a gym and loving it.
I love to drive and have driven by myself back and forth across the United States five times...and have also driven with others 5 times without a cell phone. i was told that i shouldn't do it, but I totally trust in our Creator and never felt alone. in 1978, I made a Spur of the Moment Decision to move into the Mojave desert to a little town called California City. it turned out to be the perfect place to start writing...and I wound up writing a 300 page manuscript entitled How to Raise an Organic Baby: A Mother's 22 years of Experience Raising Four Children. I had been tied down for 21 years in one place... and i wanted to be free. After, I finished writing this manuscript and started work on another one entitled For Thou Art With me, I drove across the United States in November of 1979 to NYC to take it to a publisher and wound up living in Connecticut, on and off for two years. The publisher was interested and sat on it for almost 3 months. Then, I went into NYC on a train to go to his office...and he told me that he would have like to have published it, but the AMA would not approve as I didn't have a Doctorate (and most likely, because I wrote about the negative experiences with my child's pediatrician). I learned back in 1980, what a stranglehold the AMA has on information that it doesn't want the public to know.
I am for doing thing for yourself if you can. Although not feasible for a lot of people for multiple reasons. He had a reason for doing so (to get away from it all) and he did but he didn't need permission to do so and it worked for him. Bravo!
It’s true. He learned to rely on himself. To make do. He won at life before ever retiring.
Always a great reminder to live YOUR life NOW! Whatever that version may be! Fux whatever else people think! You’re not trying live their life you’re trying to live yours and ONLY you can do that 💪🏼👊🏻
When I was going through a rough divorce my coach did what we called Installing my “No”. I didn’t realize after being married 25yrs what no was! I didn’t have a No installed. I got extremely comfortable just saying Yes Dear to everything. Not knowing I was giving up so much of my personhood to avoid conflict.
When my coach finally got me to say “No”! To something it was a whole new world for me! She taught me that I didn’t have to give anyone an explanation on anything I was doing. I can simply say NO Period. And that was it!
Previously being a super compliant person I really didn’t understand the word NO!
It’s so empowering!
As in your story! I’m doing this because I want to…or because I can or because it’s a challenge! You really don’t need a lengthy explanation on why you are doing something. Maybe because it gives me Joy!! It’s your life story you are writing make it the best story you can!!
Saying “no” can be tough! I’m writing a series on it. It was borne out of a convo I had with a overcommitted mom. https://open.substack.com/pub/abundantlyfemi/p/the-no-with-a-plus-one?r=4h1bgc&utm_medium=ios
While doing something for yourself certainly is not immoral, breaking a lease d#mn well is! This means Bernard did not fulfill a legal commitment nor pay money he owed.
Basically, he chose to do something for himself at someone else's expense.
And note, even if the lease had an early termination clause, and he followed the terms, he still did harm. An early termination clause is "liquidated damages" in legal terms - in other words, compensation for damage inflicted. That is not moral.
Doing something for yourself is not only moral, it's your responsibility.
I’m constantly doing things for myself. Even with three small kids. And three adult bonus kids. And a partner and business and school and and and… there are always people to take care of and things to do. The inbox is never empty. But neither am I. 🩶
I love this. It’s such a great reminder that we don’t always need a reason to do something for ourselves. Sometimes the “just because” is reason enough, and it can change everything. Really inspiring story!
I enjoyed reading your story .. thank you for sharing this amazing story .
There’s real courage in choosing yourself without needing a reason. Bernard didn’t do it for applause or redemption, he did it because his life no longer fit. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is stop explaining and just begin again.
We can also do little changes for ourselves too! Ive done big thing as well but the little stuff can have a significant impact as well. I’ve decided to wear the same outfit when I fly to make myself as comfy as possible, I’ve prioritized therapy, I’ve made room for others to invest in our relationship so I wasn’t doing all the hard work. I’m more peaceful and feel more fulfilled.
I absolutely ADORE this. I did something similar - I quit my job and decided to spend a year swimming in different places in Scandinavia (where I live). Quite literally spending time in service to the things that you like doing changes your life. It’s not selfish, though you have to fight against that feeling. It’s a very powerful life changing action.
I recently decided to take a sabbatical year after struggling deeply with burnout. Thank you for this encouraging post! Helps me know it’s okay not to live life in a straight line.
Hi Chris, Good day to you.
Congrats! Bernard for completing your epic bicycle journey across the USA.
I did something similar in 1980.
I thought it would be a good idea to see the USA for the very first time by cycling coast to coast.
I flew from Singapore and stayed at a hostel in Portland, Oregon and joined a group of Americans there who had also never seen certain parts of the USA themselves.
Some of the memorable places we visited were Three Sisters Mountains - Cascade Range, Oregon, Great Continental Divide, Yellowstone National Park with Old Faithful geyser, Grand Tetons National Park, Breckenridge - Hoosier Pass, Kansas, Salmon River white water rafting, Carbondale, Trappist Monastery, Missouri, Ozarks, White Bird Hill, Idaho (category 1 climb 6.9% avg gradient), the ice-cream lady, Colonial Williamsburg, Virginia, Bob Beckman who was famous for his legendary custom panniers (robertbeckmandesigns.net), Bruce Gordon custom framebuilder and crome moly front and rear racks (https://www.bgcycles.com/) and all the friendly, hospitable Americans we met along our adventure.
At that time I was the first Asian Chinese from Penang, Malaysia/Singapore to have successfully completed the TransAmerican Trail by Bikecentennial (Now called Adventure Cycling Association).
From Portland, Oregon to Yorktown, Virginia. 5,000 miles in three months.
A bicycle trip I will cherish forever with chiggers and Texas tacks (cause bicycle tyre punctures).
I resigned from my job as a heavy-duty diesel mechanic, for my USA coast-to-coast cycling adventure and returned to Singapore and started a new career as a personal trainer in a gym and loving it.
Take care, stay safe & God bless.
a very uplifting read! Thank you!
I love to drive and have driven by myself back and forth across the United States five times...and have also driven with others 5 times without a cell phone. i was told that i shouldn't do it, but I totally trust in our Creator and never felt alone. in 1978, I made a Spur of the Moment Decision to move into the Mojave desert to a little town called California City. it turned out to be the perfect place to start writing...and I wound up writing a 300 page manuscript entitled How to Raise an Organic Baby: A Mother's 22 years of Experience Raising Four Children. I had been tied down for 21 years in one place... and i wanted to be free. After, I finished writing this manuscript and started work on another one entitled For Thou Art With me, I drove across the United States in November of 1979 to NYC to take it to a publisher and wound up living in Connecticut, on and off for two years. The publisher was interested and sat on it for almost 3 months. Then, I went into NYC on a train to go to his office...and he told me that he would have like to have published it, but the AMA would not approve as I didn't have a Doctorate (and most likely, because I wrote about the negative experiences with my child's pediatrician). I learned back in 1980, what a stranglehold the AMA has on information that it doesn't want the public to know.