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David Spinks's avatar

This got me thinking: for almost all of human existence, we never needed to plan to see our friends. We coexisted in community. You wake up, and you’re seeing your community.

So it makes sense that in modernity, it feels unnatural to always be planning.

If you’ve ever lived in community, whether it’s a coliving house, in Greek life, in a kibbutz, or in an intentional community you know how natural it feels to not plan. You coexist with your community. In some examples, you’re also working alongside, feeding, and caring for each other. It’s incredibly connecting.

If coliving in community isn’t an option, then living close to friends, and making friends with people close to you seems to be a powerful life improvement. Make it more likely that you will run into friends every day. Find people close enough that it’s reasonable to pop over for an hour without a plan.

We can stay connected with people everywhere, and so we do. But now we’re filling up time keeping up with those people instead of investing in more local relationships.

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Shira Gill's avatar

This is SO REAL One thing that's been working for me is automating plans with the people I care about most. I now have a standing coffee date with my mother on the first Sunday of each month, and meet my best friends for takeout and wine each Tuesday @7pm. This has eliminated the endless text back-and-forth to coordinate, and ensures I see the people I love on a regular basis.

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