Growing up with profoundly mentally impaired caretakers = hyper vigilance to the max!
Reading their emotions / requirements was literally a life or death proposition in a world without clear survival rules.
Glad we all developed the hyper vigilance we needed to survive, and wishing us the healing to unwind it now we’ve escaped those impossible childhood circumstances!
I’ve lived this since kindergarten. Consequence of childhood trauma always having me scan the horizon for possible “trouble.” Then work each potential scenario many moves ahead, like a chest master, to see which way to move next.
Once I was able to work with and manage my anxiety properly, this is no longer a problem, it actually became a superpower.
I can tap into my crystal ball and make hypothetical decisions and play out scenarios in my mind.
Yes - I once described my job as a civil engineer as playing a long running game of “what’s the worst that could happen?” But the difference is that we work through possible hazards and how they might play out for the purposes of identifying and then implementing measures to prevent a hazard turning into a major incident. So it can be a superpower (but only when it’s turned down low!)
The exhaustion of hyper-vigilance will always lead to a boiling point of debilitating anxiety. I know. It feels like the entire world got a lesson in it during spring 2020. The psychological damage was immense, and it has yet to be fully calculated.
The lesson I learned was the power of surrender to faith and fully accepting the limitations of the human ego and its need to control all outcomes. Healthy boundaries and who and what we allow access to our inner wellbeing were also essential.
I look back and consider where and how I am now, and I will forever be thankful to God.
Hypervigilance or hyperarousal describes how I go through each day. So exhausting! No resources here for people dealing with trauma or are suffering from PTSD. You're on your own. Thank you to you and to all the commenters who shared their struggle. I don't feel so alone.
100% relate to this. It's probably why I took to weed in manner that was problematic . Now I took up exercise and other non destructive pursuits, to excess some would say. The peace I seek seems to be at the end of a strenuous 12 hour physical work day. There seems to be a spill over into the next day too.
Nice to know I’m not alone in suffering from Chronic Unfounded Feelings of Impending Doom (a syndrome I just made up, which I’m sure already has better names) I don’t think of it as hyper vigilance, since I find myself scanning the horizon with dread, but not really expecting to be able to be able to do anything about the doom I sense coming…
I do breathing exercises and play great music(classical) and faith based. The song when I stand in your love. Fear doesn't stand a chance. I declare it. People in fear are easily controlled. Also,one day At a time sweet Jesus. Helps my trauma response. Jesus promised me a sound mind and I declare it. I am in Love with Jesus the more I know Him. He knew me before I was conceived .imagine that
Growing up with profoundly mentally impaired caretakers = hyper vigilance to the max!
Reading their emotions / requirements was literally a life or death proposition in a world without clear survival rules.
Glad we all developed the hyper vigilance we needed to survive, and wishing us the healing to unwind it now we’ve escaped those impossible childhood circumstances!
I know the feeling all too well. It helps to read your words and realize I'm not the only one. Thank you. There is comfort in sharing.
I’ve lived this since kindergarten. Consequence of childhood trauma always having me scan the horizon for possible “trouble.” Then work each potential scenario many moves ahead, like a chest master, to see which way to move next.
Once I was able to work with and manage my anxiety properly, this is no longer a problem, it actually became a superpower.
I can tap into my crystal ball and make hypothetical decisions and play out scenarios in my mind.
Yes - I once described my job as a civil engineer as playing a long running game of “what’s the worst that could happen?” But the difference is that we work through possible hazards and how they might play out for the purposes of identifying and then implementing measures to prevent a hazard turning into a major incident. So it can be a superpower (but only when it’s turned down low!)
This was painful to read. But I’m glad that I’m not the only one going through this. Thank you so much for writing and sharing ❤️
I live in that same space. On very rare occasions I’ve escaped for a few minutes and understand happiness.
Ugh, this is how it goes. Your statement "It's like living in a state of pre-impact." is honestly the best description of anxiety I've ever heard.
Like minds strengthen hearts. 🤗
The exhaustion of hyper-vigilance will always lead to a boiling point of debilitating anxiety. I know. It feels like the entire world got a lesson in it during spring 2020. The psychological damage was immense, and it has yet to be fully calculated.
The lesson I learned was the power of surrender to faith and fully accepting the limitations of the human ego and its need to control all outcomes. Healthy boundaries and who and what we allow access to our inner wellbeing were also essential.
I look back and consider where and how I am now, and I will forever be thankful to God.
Hypervigilance or hyperarousal describes how I go through each day. So exhausting! No resources here for people dealing with trauma or are suffering from PTSD. You're on your own. Thank you to you and to all the commenters who shared their struggle. I don't feel so alone.
My mother worried as an antidote to catastrophe. I learned the same coping strategy.
Worry as a proactive tool.
Are you spying on my head again ;)
100% relate to this. It's probably why I took to weed in manner that was problematic . Now I took up exercise and other non destructive pursuits, to excess some would say. The peace I seek seems to be at the end of a strenuous 12 hour physical work day. There seems to be a spill over into the next day too.
Meditation seems to help, in the right context.
Thanks Chris.
Nice to know I’m not alone in suffering from Chronic Unfounded Feelings of Impending Doom (a syndrome I just made up, which I’m sure already has better names) I don’t think of it as hyper vigilance, since I find myself scanning the horizon with dread, but not really expecting to be able to be able to do anything about the doom I sense coming…
It is exhausting...
Exactly.
I do breathing exercises and play great music(classical) and faith based. The song when I stand in your love. Fear doesn't stand a chance. I declare it. People in fear are easily controlled. Also,one day At a time sweet Jesus. Helps my trauma response. Jesus promised me a sound mind and I declare it. I am in Love with Jesus the more I know Him. He knew me before I was conceived .imagine that