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Nicky Hajal's avatar

I can deeply related to this!

I think it also comes from a certain kind of optimistic thinking, "I have 15 minutes, I can finish this up in the next 5 minutes and leave". But then it takes 12 minutes and suddenly I'm in a big rush.

The other day I arrived somewhere 7 minutes early and I caught myself thinking, "Man, I didn't have to leave so early, I could have gotten something else done..."

Then I realized, "Wait, no! Being 7 minutes early means I actually got here at the appropriate time! I did good!"

It sounds weird, but it actually was important to give myself some internal praise for that so I would seek that out more in the future.

Also, I'm learning that if I get somewhere early enough, I can be a bit productive (thinking, writing, etc.) on my phone _and_ be on time without stress.

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Melissa Sandfort's avatar

Ugh! Time blindness is the bane of my existence! It’s so validating to read about it and know I’m not alone.

As a trauma survivor, one of the top issues I have is the long-lasting damage to my capacity to perceive time due to amnesia. In order to forget traumatic events after they happened in my childhood, my mind developed the awesome superpower of forgetting the event within 10 minutes of it happening. Which was amazing when I was a kid, and it certainly kept me sane, but now, I have a 10 minute window before and after all events where time is phenomenally fuzzy. Transitions are time black-holes for me.

The number of people who have trauma they don’t recognize is so much higher than anybody could possibly imagine. Whether it’s really severe, or chronic, ongoing emotional misattunement, I think unaddressed trauma has a lot of impact on our capacity to perceive time. As children in unsafe environments, I think our minds develop the capacity to blank out what is totally impossible to process. And then, as adults we’re left with this blanking out part who can’t let down it’s guard or stop doing it’s job until the underlying trauma is fully addressed.

As I heal my trauma, my time blindness has improved somewhat, but in the meantime, these top down approaches are so crucial for being a functional adult! My vision is to heal it from the bottom up by getting to the root of the traumas, so that I don’t have to have this dissociative relationship to time. But meanwhile, I’m ordering even more timers!

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