That’s a really powerful thought, that the algorithm only surfaces people who complain, so you end up disappointing yourself silently. That’s going to stay with me.
Here's how the "disappointment algorithm" showed up in my life:
I was convinced that I SHOULD be able to keep all four burners going (while juggling chainsaws), if I only had the right productivity system and was optimized enough.
As a result, I always thought I was letting myself down, and the people around me, because I couldn't get my sh** together enough to make everybody happy and get everything done. I also assumed that no matter which choice I made, I was disappointing the other side of that decision.
So I would beat myself up, spend days delaying on making a decision, and eventually getting to the point where no matter WHICH decision I made, I was unhappy with it!
These days, I try to avoid this trap. I make the decision sooner than later, and accept that I'll never be able to get it all done, because that's impossible. Cheers man!
Your writing has always been a light in my life, but this one especially illuminates something I've felt, but couldn't quite put words to. Well-timed arrival in my inbox also. Grateful.
Chris, I can relate. For most of my life I was there for others and forgot about myself and now I am paying the price with health issues. I learned that we have to put ourselves first.
That’s a really powerful thought, that the algorithm only surfaces people who complain, so you end up disappointing yourself silently. That’s going to stay with me.
Here's how the "disappointment algorithm" showed up in my life:
I was convinced that I SHOULD be able to keep all four burners going (while juggling chainsaws), if I only had the right productivity system and was optimized enough.
As a result, I always thought I was letting myself down, and the people around me, because I couldn't get my sh** together enough to make everybody happy and get everything done. I also assumed that no matter which choice I made, I was disappointing the other side of that decision.
So I would beat myself up, spend days delaying on making a decision, and eventually getting to the point where no matter WHICH decision I made, I was unhappy with it!
These days, I try to avoid this trap. I make the decision sooner than later, and accept that I'll never be able to get it all done, because that's impossible. Cheers man!
I’ve been reading your stuff for many years. Was at WDS in ‘13 and ‘14. I think right now, you’re writing your best stuff!
“You don’t disappoint yourself loudly. You disappoint yourself in silence, over years.”
preachhhhhhhhh
I appreciate you, Chris.
Your writing has always been a light in my life, but this one especially illuminates something I've felt, but couldn't quite put words to. Well-timed arrival in my inbox also. Grateful.
Chris, I can relate. For most of my life I was there for others and forgot about myself and now I am paying the price with health issues. I learned that we have to put ourselves first.