This made for a very inspiring read, thank you for sharing it Chris. Something that came up for me when reading this is I've heard a lot of people (including my dad) say that younger people are entitled these days. I think this feeds into my fear of asking bold questions. But I am working on overcoming that fear and I appreciate your inspiration.
Wow! The most powerful part was at the end for me. "When you start asking for what you want—and realize the worst outcome is simply hearing 'no'—entire sections of life suddenly become accessible."
It's crazy how resistance to hearing that one word "no" stops so many people (including me) from asking for things. It made me imagine how being immune to the word "no" could actually be life changing. Thanks for this post!
Loved reading this! I had something similar in college where I asked for a class that was listed as a history class to count as my literature elective.
The course was on Dante's Divine Comedy (The Inferno, Purgatory, and Heaven) and we would be reading the three books. This would allow me to take a course that I wanted (vs. another section of British Literature).
I asked my advisor (similar to Chris) and was told I needed to get the professor to write a brief statement saying that she saw this course as a potential literature elective; she was in the history department hence the history classification. She saw it as a win since she would have a student in her class that was interested and was more than happy to help me with this.
All it took was asking and some email work. Never hesitate to ask!
So true—if you don’t ask, you don’t get! Last year, I had an incident where I needed to carry a large credit card charge for 30 days. We have a longstanding credit card with a high limit and a zero balance, but if we had any issues paying it off within 30 days, the 29% interest rate would have been brutal.
My wife suggested I call and ask for a better rate—just in case. So I did, and to my surprise, they not only offered 0% interest for 12 months, but they also increased our credit limit by 30% without me even asking!
"But then I realized I should feel proud. " Yes, Any of us that take the time to prioritize asking for our needs (or wants) should be proud of ourselves for speaking up!!
I believe it’s all about purpose. If your purpose means a lot to you, you will not have a problem taking a reserved seat, your purpose is driving you to do that. I was procrastinating to start Substack until it was not only “why not”, but “I badly want it”. Finding my purpose freed me from worrying about not having readers. I am doing it, because I enjoy the process - good result is a bonus.
I loved reading this and everyone's comments. I'm usually a shy and soft-spoken person, but I recall my friends and I meeting up for a comedy show in the city a while back. We planned to eat ahead of time, not thinking to make a reservation. Everywhere we walked to and tried to eat at was booked. We were hungry. The show would be starting soonish. We walked into a nice restaurant that appeared to have open tables; they asked if we had a reservation; I said "no" but that we were trying to attend the show at such-and-such time, and we just wanted to grab drinks and appetizers. The reserved tables were for dinner time, after our show would have started, so they found room for us. It seemed like a little thing at the time, but my friends were excited I spoke up, and I felt that bit of pride for doing something outside of my comfort zone with positive results. You're right, the worst that could have happened was the hostess telling us "no" and we would have bought overpriced chips and sodas at the show.
I LOVE this topic! I use a similar analogy with my coaching clients and groups. Getting into many industries is like trying to get into a club to see a hot band. Sure, you could wait in the line that stretches down the block...in the cold...watching others walk up and get waved in ahead of you for some unknown reason. OR you could consider what advantages you have that others don't.
Do you know the drummer? Are you friends with someone on back-of-house staff? Is your friend with the better wardrobe always getting in because she flirts with the bouncer, while you get left in the dust? Maybe that friend would be totally willing to help you sneak in the bathroom window. Could you just pass the bouncer a hundo if it's a band you REALLY want to see? Are you willing to fake a medical emergency to get inside? Or, like in your analogy, sometimes it really is just asking the right person nicely for an exception. 😉
I love this! As a Manifesting Generator I am always looking for a short cut and work around, especially if I have already done the work. There are folks who are constantly evolving beyond basic and negotiating and demonstrating so is a skill set.
I love a flexible system. Similarly, I was exempt from a freshman English requirement because of some advanced high school courses. I was thrilled, but then regretted skipping English altogether years later. Would have ended up a writer instead of a designer?
Never hurts to ask! I had a similar experience in both high school and college. I skipped required level-one courses just by asking and showing my portfolio. Jumping straight into the more advanced classes meant I could spend my time on courses that were more interesting and impactful. Until I read this, I’d forgotten this experience, thanks for the reminder!
This made for a very inspiring read, thank you for sharing it Chris. Something that came up for me when reading this is I've heard a lot of people (including my dad) say that younger people are entitled these days. I think this feeds into my fear of asking bold questions. But I am working on overcoming that fear and I appreciate your inspiration.
Wow! The most powerful part was at the end for me. "When you start asking for what you want—and realize the worst outcome is simply hearing 'no'—entire sections of life suddenly become accessible."
It's crazy how resistance to hearing that one word "no" stops so many people (including me) from asking for things. It made me imagine how being immune to the word "no" could actually be life changing. Thanks for this post!
Loved reading this! I had something similar in college where I asked for a class that was listed as a history class to count as my literature elective.
The course was on Dante's Divine Comedy (The Inferno, Purgatory, and Heaven) and we would be reading the three books. This would allow me to take a course that I wanted (vs. another section of British Literature).
I asked my advisor (similar to Chris) and was told I needed to get the professor to write a brief statement saying that she saw this course as a potential literature elective; she was in the history department hence the history classification. She saw it as a win since she would have a student in her class that was interested and was more than happy to help me with this.
All it took was asking and some email work. Never hesitate to ask!
So true—if you don’t ask, you don’t get! Last year, I had an incident where I needed to carry a large credit card charge for 30 days. We have a longstanding credit card with a high limit and a zero balance, but if we had any issues paying it off within 30 days, the 29% interest rate would have been brutal.
My wife suggested I call and ask for a better rate—just in case. So I did, and to my surprise, they not only offered 0% interest for 12 months, but they also increased our credit limit by 30% without me even asking!
"But then I realized I should feel proud. " Yes, Any of us that take the time to prioritize asking for our needs (or wants) should be proud of ourselves for speaking up!!
I believe it’s all about purpose. If your purpose means a lot to you, you will not have a problem taking a reserved seat, your purpose is driving you to do that. I was procrastinating to start Substack until it was not only “why not”, but “I badly want it”. Finding my purpose freed me from worrying about not having readers. I am doing it, because I enjoy the process - good result is a bonus.
I loved reading this and everyone's comments. I'm usually a shy and soft-spoken person, but I recall my friends and I meeting up for a comedy show in the city a while back. We planned to eat ahead of time, not thinking to make a reservation. Everywhere we walked to and tried to eat at was booked. We were hungry. The show would be starting soonish. We walked into a nice restaurant that appeared to have open tables; they asked if we had a reservation; I said "no" but that we were trying to attend the show at such-and-such time, and we just wanted to grab drinks and appetizers. The reserved tables were for dinner time, after our show would have started, so they found room for us. It seemed like a little thing at the time, but my friends were excited I spoke up, and I felt that bit of pride for doing something outside of my comfort zone with positive results. You're right, the worst that could have happened was the hostess telling us "no" and we would have bought overpriced chips and sodas at the show.
I LOVE this topic! I use a similar analogy with my coaching clients and groups. Getting into many industries is like trying to get into a club to see a hot band. Sure, you could wait in the line that stretches down the block...in the cold...watching others walk up and get waved in ahead of you for some unknown reason. OR you could consider what advantages you have that others don't.
Do you know the drummer? Are you friends with someone on back-of-house staff? Is your friend with the better wardrobe always getting in because she flirts with the bouncer, while you get left in the dust? Maybe that friend would be totally willing to help you sneak in the bathroom window. Could you just pass the bouncer a hundo if it's a band you REALLY want to see? Are you willing to fake a medical emergency to get inside? Or, like in your analogy, sometimes it really is just asking the right person nicely for an exception. 😉
I love this! As a Manifesting Generator I am always looking for a short cut and work around, especially if I have already done the work. There are folks who are constantly evolving beyond basic and negotiating and demonstrating so is a skill set.
I love a flexible system. Similarly, I was exempt from a freshman English requirement because of some advanced high school courses. I was thrilled, but then regretted skipping English altogether years later. Would have ended up a writer instead of a designer?
Asking is great. Without asking, the answer is already no. Ask and it might turn into a yes.
Never hurts to ask! I had a similar experience in both high school and college. I skipped required level-one courses just by asking and showing my portfolio. Jumping straight into the more advanced classes meant I could spend my time on courses that were more interesting and impactful. Until I read this, I’d forgotten this experience, thanks for the reminder!