Notes from the Community, Volume 7
More art, more comments, more links. Settle in and find a few things you'll like. 🛋️
Friends and readers, thanks for being out there! I’m so glad to be writing this newsletter and interacting with lots of people in the community. Here’s our seventh roundup of community notes, featuring reader comments, links, and more.
What We’ve Covered So Far
We’re now eighteen weeks into the year. So far we’ve covered:
Introduction, It Was Going So Well, Unhelpful Life Advice, From Rejection to Reflection, Overthinking, A Couch Can Make You Happy, “I Wish I’d Made That Change Later,” Why This Now?, “Your Voicemail Isn’t Working,” Your Last 40 Minutes, Imposter Syndrome Isn’t What You Think, Consider the Opposite of What You’re Worried About, How I Use (and Don’t Use) Adderall to Focus, You Can Be Better than You Are, Is It Always Best to "Do What Makes You Happy"?, A Tale of Two Yoga Teachers, The Felt Sense, No One Teaches You How to Breathe, The Trauma of Adult Undiagnosed ADHD, “What matters to me right now?”, Lessons From Your Six-Year-Old-Self, Try This When You Aren’t Sure What To Do, Time Anxiety: Can You Take a Quick Survey?, If You Can't Learn Math It's Not Your Fault, Consider this if you like taking care of people, Time Blindness, The Perks of Being Misunderstood, You’re Always Going to Lose at Something, Election Anxiety Is Real, So Make a Plan to Disengage, Attention Has a Cost, What Is "Demand Avoidance"? A Case Study, Can You Be Much Happier than You Thought?, Do You Have a “Granny Hobby”?, 15 Ways to Self-Sabotage, Why Is It Hard to Be Different?, Why Do I Put Off Seeing My Friends?, Exposure Therapy
Also! An initial set of activities (more of these are on the way):
As well as an interview series that’s just getting started:
"The world is a better place when I take up space": A Conversation with Marc Typo
“Wellbeing is about capacity”: A Conversation with Emma Gannon
"There’s no one life script for everyone": A conversation with Sari Botton
I’m looking forward to seeing these lists expand as the year progresses.
Popular Comments 📝
Most posts have the option to comment—and it’s so fun to see readers jumping in!
In this section I’ll highlight a few recent comments that were upvoted the most by the community. (These are edited lightly for brevity, without changing the tone. Read the full comments and many more on each post’s page.)
From Rafaela, on the post What Is "Demand Avoidance"? A Case Study,
OMG, This makes so much sense! I've just handed in my two-week notice (fifth time trying to adapt to a regular job with a boss). I always thought I couldn't keep a job longer than 6 months because I was weak and couldn't handle hierarchy... but hey, now I realise that it's not just the bossy thing I can't stand, it's actually any kind of demand, it's PDA!
From Anna Thompson, on the post Can You Be Much Happier than You Thought?
I've always felt in my gut that the idea of baseline happiness was nonsense. It feels like there is a human drive to change and adapt, to find more meaning and happiness as we live. To solve our problems where we can, all of which points to some innate knowledge that our baseline happiness can be moved. I think the lottery winner example isn't a good one to understand the concept of baseline happiness, because perhaps money is not a good indicator of what can move the needle.
And from Teresa
You can suffer and still be happy. If you find yourself in a situation where you can't take the pebble out of your own shoe, take the pebbles out of other peoples shoes.
From Melissa on the post Do You Have a “Granny Hobby”?
I moved to Spain almost 3 years ago for my husbands job and now I’m not working. I was most excited to to be a SAHW so I had loads of time for my hobbies, which are pretty much all granny hobbies. Quilting, sewing, baking/cooking, crafts, house plants, and some surprising things that aren’t usually “hobbies” but that I’ve grown to love like ironing. I still somehow don’t spend as much time on them as I want but I am loving honoring my inner 80 year old woman.
And from John McKenzie
I've collected stamps since I was about 6 years old, and postmarks since I was in high school. I'm all about curiosity, geography, and travel, so while most people would consider these hobbies "boring," to me they are what shaped me and what consistently bring me joy. My dad gave me the stamp collection, which was his father's, so I guess it truly is a grandpa hobby. I have other hobbies, too, which are probably all variations on the theme of travel or geography. No shame!
From Carol Szymanski, on the post 15 Ways to Self-Sabotage
Wow. I know this would never happen—but what if we could share this list with first graders like the letters of the alphabet? And then every year, students would grade themselves on these points. Why don’t we teach kids not to hold grudges and be better advocates for themselves? I feel like they taught me a foreign language in school and made me do to hard work of figuring out friendships and real life on my own.
From Erik Lokensgard, on the post "The world is a better place when I take up space"
“How are the children?” is a wonderful and important greeting. Starting from that question helps remind us to prioritize the kids. And I think you are right that many of the other problems in society can be better addressed when we center the children, or recognize that we were all once children. Thank you.
And from Isken Ward, on the post Why Is It Hard to Be Different?
Yes, this is one of life’s greatest dilemmas. To be or not to be different. And choosing to be different doesn’t mean greatness. It’s something that each individual must wrestle with and decide for themselves. I struggle everyday with it and it can be exhausting. I find it more exhausting to be inauthentic. I wish luck to every person struggling with which way to go. Neither one is easier if you ask me.
Art & Other Fun Things
Note: if you like any of these images, be sure to click through on the links. What’s included here is just a small selection of the full work.
Posts and Stories I Liked
In addition to my regular browsing, every couple of weeks I do a public call for submissions. I’ll share many of the links that people send me in future posts.
Here are a few posts I’ve enjoyed recently:
Out beyond "Killing it" and "I suck" there is a field... by Jennifer Louden and Marika Páez Wiesen
A Much Needed Adjustment To My Factory Settings On Marriage and Children by david roberts
Obituary for a Quiet Life by Jeremy B. Jones
Note: if you’re publishing a newsletter, feel free to comment in this post with the name of your publication so that other readers can find you.
Special Thanks to our Paid Subscribers
As promised, most content on A Year of Mental Health will be completely free. Paid subscribers make this possible.
Even though most posts are freely available at the time of publication, many of you have already upgraded your subscriptions—and I am grateful! Thank you. 🙏 🙏 🙏
Whenever someone upgrades, the platform offers subscribers a chance to write a note to the creator, which can be shared with the subscriber’s permission.
Here’s one that I received this week from Yaseen Dadabhay:
“As a psychotherapist working with men on a daily basis and seeing how so many men struggle with their mental health in silence, I love how much of an impact you are having on mens mental health challenges ❤️🙏 Also I have read all your books and give them to clients and friends frequently!”
Again, I want this project to be helpful and valuable to you. We’re just getting started, and there’s much more to come.
Scholarships Available Upon Request
What if you want a paid subscription but can’t afford it? It’s all good, we’ve got you covered! 🤝
Specifically, we now have a scholarship plan where you can pay whatever you can afford. These scholarships are covered by our Founding Members—thank you, Founding Members!
If you’d like one, just send a note to team @ chrisguillebeau .com with the word “Scholarship” in the subject line. We’ll help you get whatever option you need.
On the Horizon
That’s it for now, but I’ll be back Monday at 7am Pacific time. Upcoming topics include: when it’s good to do things poorly, overthinking (again!), and brain power myths.
And maybe a surprise guest or two! Like I said, there’s much more to come. 🎁
I love these community posts, and so excited to see what's coming up for the next week :D
I really enjoyed your conversation with Marc Typo. I keep reflecting on the wise and insightful part that Marc shared about the Masai greeting which I referenced in that comment. Marc’s reminder to center the children in everything we do is powerful and loving. Thank you and Marc for engaging with readers like me through this platform! It means a lot to me.