I recently decided to pause on a master's program I've been in for about 4 years... Actually, I should say I've been slogging through for about 4 years.
11 courses in, 6 to go, but even after that, there is an exam and a lengthy (unpaid or low-paying) internship to prove my abilities. The program wasn't lighting my fire and more importantly, instead of enabling me, I think it was holding me back. I believe there is another path for me to do the work I want to do w/o meeting all these state requirements. I am THRILLED w/ this decision. I don't feel ashamed or regretful and have opened myself up to the question of "What's next?" How exactly do I do the work I want to do? And it's truly wonderful, no longer spending many, many hours reading text books, writing papers, etc.
Thank you for broaching this topic. Very timely for me!
I also began a second master's, an MBA program. I stopped after two classes. Maybe you'll find that the classes you took will help you in the future. One of mine was leadership; very useful.
It's very freeing to pause or quit a graduate program because you don't love it or are having second thoughts about the commitment. It's costly in terms of money and time and if you no longer see it's value (now or long-term), it makes sense to quit, even though there's LOTS of pressure not to.
Yes! From "finish the job" to "quitters never win" to countless other idioms, US culture is obsessed with finishing things (maybe to keep us all working?). Discernment, on the other hand, makes better and more fulfilling use of our limited time and energy. Thanks for this important reminder today!
Stopping gets such a bad rap. Often, if you go through and try and then stop, then it means you have data to work with. You can figure out the lessons you learned while you were working on this project and develop ways to work on improving for the future. Not quitting when it is uncomfortable is different than not quitting because of hubris, you know?
Consider this. Not finishing things can leave a mess. Whether it is a book, a relationship, a project, or hundreds of tools and nails in your garage, I've learned to apply this question and it liberates: Are you going to leave a legacy or a mess?
That's your choice. Everything you touch or do is part of the legacy you will leave or it is a mess someone else will have to deal with. We have 100% control on this choice, while here.
So, if not finishing a book leaves no mess, fine. However, have you made provisions for someone (other than your family) to come to your library after you die, then pack up, and carry to another library or collection somewhere those 10,000 books you purchased and put on the shelves in your private library, over the years? See? Legacy or mess.
I would say not finishing something that is important to you can leave a mess and leave you with a sense of regret.
But if you are watching a movie or reading a book and become utterly bored halfway through. I don't see how skipping the rest of it affects your legacy or creates a mess. No one cares what books I read or don't read, or what movies I watch or don't watch, other than me.
If I abandon a project because I felt an idea wasn't working and my time could be spent elsewhere, I virtually never regret the abandoned project. Now if I was abandoning everything and never finishing projects to completion, that would be another story. But there is nothing inherently wrong in deciding something isn't working and moving on, in my opinion.
Also, if you have a collection of 10,000 books, I don't see how whether you read the book to completion or not changes the situation for the people who have to deal with them after your death. It's not like read books weigh less than unread books. Besides, I read digital books, so there won't be any physical library for anyone to deal with any. ;)
Hi Chris, the comments you mentioned about reading a book, spoke to me. I read 50 pages also, and if I'm bored with it, I return it to the library. I also agree with you about TV, I love to read more than watch TV, so I don't watch it!
I've stopped projects, books, jobs, often in my life. It's wonderful! Many people have not understood this, but to them I say, the clock is ticking! Don't waste your life!
I recently stopped reading Fuzzy Nation by John Scalzi, which is a sort of reboot of a book I liked called Little Fuzzy by H. Beam Piper. I got partway through Scalzi's version of the story and thought, you know what, I only like one character in this story and she's not the main character, so I think I'm going to give this one a rest.
I picked up an ebook copy of Little Fuzzy (for free!) and reread that version. I enjoyed it much more.
Oh wonderful! I have great trouble ‘not’ finishing things then feeling bad that something is left undone. Guilt then traps me into inaction and I feel even worse! And I’m definitely one of those who often leaves a book partly read. I need to flip my thinking on this and maybe I’m saving my time for something more important or valuable to me, and that’s ok and something I shouldn’t feel bad about. I read something amazing recently that went like this ‘if you find yourself swimming up the same stream and your way is blocked by the same rock, then instead of doing the same thing again, find another place to swim’ perspective. It’s about how you view what you do and the your environment and the things that happen. I feel less stress about not finishing things now. Hey! I’m creative and creative people are a bit scruffy, right?
Oh I'm a book-finisher. It's such a dumb habit because it means that sometimes I don't read for weeks because I can't finish the book. I also have the same with podcast or YouTubers I follow, I make a list of everyone's new videos and podcasts and I have this weird need to finish the entire list. With the amount of stuff everyone puts out it means I'm stuck in an infinite loop! Only recently have I started to delete a few of the list if the content doesn't really interest me.
I've got a lot of irons in the fire these days. It feels like a good idea to investigate stuff....but it is overwhelming. This is a good reminder that not every thought that passes through and gets considered has to be executed. I'm totally one of those book finishers! This need to finish things must really effect a certain kind of personality, right? :)
I love leaving most things unfinished: the last few bites of a meal, season finales of shows, creative projects. I love the allure of coming back to projects at a later date. There's always potential.
I recently decided to pause on a master's program I've been in for about 4 years... Actually, I should say I've been slogging through for about 4 years.
11 courses in, 6 to go, but even after that, there is an exam and a lengthy (unpaid or low-paying) internship to prove my abilities. The program wasn't lighting my fire and more importantly, instead of enabling me, I think it was holding me back. I believe there is another path for me to do the work I want to do w/o meeting all these state requirements. I am THRILLED w/ this decision. I don't feel ashamed or regretful and have opened myself up to the question of "What's next?" How exactly do I do the work I want to do? And it's truly wonderful, no longer spending many, many hours reading text books, writing papers, etc.
Thank you for broaching this topic. Very timely for me!
I also began a second master's, an MBA program. I stopped after two classes. Maybe you'll find that the classes you took will help you in the future. One of mine was leadership; very useful.
It's very freeing to pause or quit a graduate program because you don't love it or are having second thoughts about the commitment. It's costly in terms of money and time and if you no longer see it's value (now or long-term), it makes sense to quit, even though there's LOTS of pressure not to.
The more things you quit that you don't like gives you more time to finish things you do like. Sounds perfect!
Yes! From "finish the job" to "quitters never win" to countless other idioms, US culture is obsessed with finishing things (maybe to keep us all working?). Discernment, on the other hand, makes better and more fulfilling use of our limited time and energy. Thanks for this important reminder today!
Stopping gets such a bad rap. Often, if you go through and try and then stop, then it means you have data to work with. You can figure out the lessons you learned while you were working on this project and develop ways to work on improving for the future. Not quitting when it is uncomfortable is different than not quitting because of hubris, you know?
Consider this. Not finishing things can leave a mess. Whether it is a book, a relationship, a project, or hundreds of tools and nails in your garage, I've learned to apply this question and it liberates: Are you going to leave a legacy or a mess?
That's your choice. Everything you touch or do is part of the legacy you will leave or it is a mess someone else will have to deal with. We have 100% control on this choice, while here.
So, if not finishing a book leaves no mess, fine. However, have you made provisions for someone (other than your family) to come to your library after you die, then pack up, and carry to another library or collection somewhere those 10,000 books you purchased and put on the shelves in your private library, over the years? See? Legacy or mess.
I would say not finishing something that is important to you can leave a mess and leave you with a sense of regret.
But if you are watching a movie or reading a book and become utterly bored halfway through. I don't see how skipping the rest of it affects your legacy or creates a mess. No one cares what books I read or don't read, or what movies I watch or don't watch, other than me.
If I abandon a project because I felt an idea wasn't working and my time could be spent elsewhere, I virtually never regret the abandoned project. Now if I was abandoning everything and never finishing projects to completion, that would be another story. But there is nothing inherently wrong in deciding something isn't working and moving on, in my opinion.
Also, if you have a collection of 10,000 books, I don't see how whether you read the book to completion or not changes the situation for the people who have to deal with them after your death. It's not like read books weigh less than unread books. Besides, I read digital books, so there won't be any physical library for anyone to deal with any. ;)
Hi Chris, the comments you mentioned about reading a book, spoke to me. I read 50 pages also, and if I'm bored with it, I return it to the library. I also agree with you about TV, I love to read more than watch TV, so I don't watch it!
I love this!!! From a generation of "you took it so finish it" it took way to long to figure this out. 🤣
Can I assume that you cut off the end of the last sentence on purpose?
I've stopped projects, books, jobs, often in my life. It's wonderful! Many people have not understood this, but to them I say, the clock is ticking! Don't waste your life!
I recently stopped reading Fuzzy Nation by John Scalzi, which is a sort of reboot of a book I liked called Little Fuzzy by H. Beam Piper. I got partway through Scalzi's version of the story and thought, you know what, I only like one character in this story and she's not the main character, so I think I'm going to give this one a rest.
I picked up an ebook copy of Little Fuzzy (for free!) and reread that version. I enjoyed it much more.
Great article with some time saving ideas to take on board. Thank you.
Oh wonderful! I have great trouble ‘not’ finishing things then feeling bad that something is left undone. Guilt then traps me into inaction and I feel even worse! And I’m definitely one of those who often leaves a book partly read. I need to flip my thinking on this and maybe I’m saving my time for something more important or valuable to me, and that’s ok and something I shouldn’t feel bad about. I read something amazing recently that went like this ‘if you find yourself swimming up the same stream and your way is blocked by the same rock, then instead of doing the same thing again, find another place to swim’ perspective. It’s about how you view what you do and the your environment and the things that happen. I feel less stress about not finishing things now. Hey! I’m creative and creative people are a bit scruffy, right?
Oh I'm a book-finisher. It's such a dumb habit because it means that sometimes I don't read for weeks because I can't finish the book. I also have the same with podcast or YouTubers I follow, I make a list of everyone's new videos and podcasts and I have this weird need to finish the entire list. With the amount of stuff everyone puts out it means I'm stuck in an infinite loop! Only recently have I started to delete a few of the list if the content doesn't really interest me.
I've got a lot of irons in the fire these days. It feels like a good idea to investigate stuff....but it is overwhelming. This is a good reminder that not every thought that passes through and gets considered has to be executed. I'm totally one of those book finishers! This need to finish things must really effect a certain kind of personality, right? :)
The concept of "un-finishing" is just what I need right now! Thanks, Chris!
I love leaving most things unfinished: the last few bites of a meal, season finales of shows, creative projects. I love the allure of coming back to projects at a later date. There's always potential.