I often take time in before bed to have a “day in review” conversation with my parts to discuss what was successful and what was a fail for the day.
I do this out loud and record it on voice memos with an old iPhone (I can’t use my current iPhone that’s hooked up to the internet, because I’d start scrolling and stay up all night.)
Taking a good hard look at what sucked during the day is a really great way to improve my life!
The number one thing that turns up is investing time in conversations with people I did not enjoy.
People pleasing is such a tough nut to crack.
But when I go to bed at night, and think about how I wasted half an hour or an hour in a conversation I didn’t enjoy, it helps remind me that the bad feeling I was having during the conversation isn’t EVER going to get better by persisting and smiling and gritting my teeth and trying to be nice.
I KNOW I need to start saying something like, “I’m so glad we got the chance to connect. I actually have to get going, but is there anything else that wants to be said before we wrap up?”
Giving myself permission to connect to my right people is one of my top projects right now.
No one can connect to everyone on planet earth – we’re all on our own vibration and we all need to give ourselves permission to connect to the people that give us joy and disconnect from the people who don’t.
It’s not personal! It’s vibrational.
I appreciate this reminder to lean into what isn’t working!
And to do it with self-compassion and compassion for other people!
Whatever insights arise have nothing to do with who’s a good or bad person, and everything to do with the simple reality that being human is a messy, chaotic, vibrational proposition, and the more I come into alignment with that, the happier I’ll be.
Funny thing is, I recently read your article on Time Anxiety in the Oprah Magazine. Oprah knows you! That is bigger than a Big media column in my book! Congrats!
I always say that self-awareness is the biggest gift we can give ourselves. That includes acknowledging our failures because they too are a part of our journey. And boy, what a beautiful journey this life is!
Second time reader, first time commenter! This article along with your Time Anxiety have really helped me. I have your book on order. Well done for all you’ve achieved so far…
I often take time in before bed to have a “day in review” conversation with my parts to discuss what was successful and what was a fail for the day.
I do this out loud and record it on voice memos with an old iPhone (I can’t use my current iPhone that’s hooked up to the internet, because I’d start scrolling and stay up all night.)
Taking a good hard look at what sucked during the day is a really great way to improve my life!
The number one thing that turns up is investing time in conversations with people I did not enjoy.
People pleasing is such a tough nut to crack.
But when I go to bed at night, and think about how I wasted half an hour or an hour in a conversation I didn’t enjoy, it helps remind me that the bad feeling I was having during the conversation isn’t EVER going to get better by persisting and smiling and gritting my teeth and trying to be nice.
I KNOW I need to start saying something like, “I’m so glad we got the chance to connect. I actually have to get going, but is there anything else that wants to be said before we wrap up?”
Giving myself permission to connect to my right people is one of my top projects right now.
No one can connect to everyone on planet earth – we’re all on our own vibration and we all need to give ourselves permission to connect to the people that give us joy and disconnect from the people who don’t.
It’s not personal! It’s vibrational.
I appreciate this reminder to lean into what isn’t working!
And to do it with self-compassion and compassion for other people!
Whatever insights arise have nothing to do with who’s a good or bad person, and everything to do with the simple reality that being human is a messy, chaotic, vibrational proposition, and the more I come into alignment with that, the happier I’ll be.
Funny thing is, I recently read your article on Time Anxiety in the Oprah Magazine. Oprah knows you! That is bigger than a Big media column in my book! Congrats!
This is sooooo good. I love it! Thanks Chris!! Exactly what I needed today.
I have subscribed and unsubscribed to 1000's - Chris - you are the one I keep reading. :)
Inspiring. As simple as seeing ourselves with compassion and clarity.Thanks for this one ☝️
Love it!
I always say that self-awareness is the biggest gift we can give ourselves. That includes acknowledging our failures because they too are a part of our journey. And boy, what a beautiful journey this life is!
Second time reader, first time commenter! This article along with your Time Anxiety have really helped me. I have your book on order. Well done for all you’ve achieved so far…
I'm really sorry your column didn't work out. Their loss. It would have been wildly popular because your writing is brilliant x
Two useful resources for this:
- How to Fail with Elizabeth Day (podcast where she interviews prominent people about their failures - always fascinating and inspiring!)
- The prayer of Examen is an ancient practice of daily review of both good and bad in the day and a beautiful tool for finishing the day at peace.
Thanks, Chris. This is a great post ( just like all of your posts!)