Oddly enough, this is exactly what I needed to read. I’m 35 and was just diagnosed with breast cancer (also found out I am BRCA2 positive). I’m about to start treatment but it is stage 1 so survival isn’t even a concern with my doctors. I think what has surprised me the most is that I’m not really scared of this whole situation but I’m scared of returning to procrastinating on all the things I want to do when treatment is over.
Congratulations on choosing to look forward to your journey with positivity. Know that everyone here in this group is cheering you on and wishing you the best of health. I had a friend who used to make a summer list of things to do. We’d check things off and really feel like we had the whole summer experience at the end of September. The summer days fly by and if you don’t actively seek out that lobster roll or hazelnut gelato, you’ll have to wait til next year. Infinite blessings to you!
Just over three months ago, I left my federal government career to pursue my soul's calling. For two years, I grappled with financial fears, change and all the uncertainty that comes with making a massive career change after 23+ years in. The turning point came when I reframed my perspective from all the disempowering 'what-ifs' to empowering beliefs about myself and what could be available to me if I could create time in my life and space in my mind for new possibilities to emerge.
The truth is, nobody wins a race they don't want to be in. When we learn to make our own rules via different beliefs, choices, thoughts, emotions, actions, etc. we start to run our own race and begin to rig the game of life in our favour! =)
I truly believe that having passion in your heart and a smile on your face most days in a job you love is as close to success and happiness as you can get. Congratulations on starting your journey!
A passionate heart, a beautiful smile and a love for what matters most to us, that right there is a winning formula for cultivating a fulfilling inner world and a joyful outer world experience! Thank you Carol for this wonderful share.
I’ve been working really, really, really hard to offer incredibly intimate, carefully vetted, sweet little six-person Internal Family Systems practice groups / classes.
Despite absolutely loving them with all my heart, the classes rarely fill all the way and people drop out at the last minute, which has slowly but surely broken the heart of the parts of me that were so excited and so lovingly enthusiastic about sharing my passion for IFS in this small-class format.
This last class has truly broken my parts’ hearts for good. I’ve been so understanding and flexible about sign-ups — which has only led to upset and resentment about lack of communication, last-minute drop-outs, and me not being able to plan because I don’t know if people who say they’ll attend are really going to.
It feels like a break-up with the dream of offering these classes. No matter what I’ve tried, it’s not working. It’s like the universe keeps pushing me underwater when I’m trying to swim and I can’t keep swimming against the waves. It feels like a huge “No” or “not right now.” This class is the #1 cause of stress, distress, disappointment and unhappiness in my life right now and it’s clear it’s simply not worth it.
So, CONGRATULATIONS! are indeed in order!
I’ll run the next two series of classes I committed to, but this pain = clear feedback to stop putting my hand on a hot stove and stop getting burned. Thank you universe for the clear feedback to rethink and revamp all my boundaries and approaches. Either I change how I offer the classes or I stop offering them. Full stop!!
The break-up has happened. The dream has died. The light has gone out of my parts’ eyes for offering these lovely little classes in a flexible format. Now it’s time to hatch a plan.
I needed this post today more than anything else, to ease the heartbreak and accept that the dream has ALREADY DIED. It just didn’t work the way I was doing it. And that’s okay. Either there’s a new and better way, or it’s time to walk away. Either I make the classes work for my heart or I walk away from them. No more ifs, ands or buts.
Thank you Chris!! Congratulations! This is not working! Time for what does!
This absolutely makes sense. So often, the loss and new opportunities show up so nearly simultaneously that the directly opposing feelings are staggering.
I've taken to telling people, "I am so sorry, and also congratulations!"
That seems to be the acknowledgement that they need of both. It's like it gives them language and permission to feel both emotions at the same time.
True! And then the other person has the wide open space to move the conversation towards whatever path they need to discuss - the sorry part or the congratulations part. :)
I have thought this occasionally! My companion of 5 years moved out of the country due to advancing age(89) to be near his caring child in Spain. I cut back on time with him a month before he left, my decision.
We saw each other daily for dinner and a short time afterward. I knew I needed to begin readjusting. I prefer a man in my life, intimate or otherwise. This was otherwise and satisfying in many ways. I’m looking for another companion. Also getting more accepting of being alone. Thank you for the reminder of my current opportunity. Did I mention I’m 84!
What a powerful article! Thanks! I am officialy unemployed since yesterday. When I was informed on the 3rd of July, I knew that Life was making the obvious decision I had been posponing. I know that now I can do whatever I want. That feels good. However, the system's burocracies force me to search actively for another job I don't like. That changes the game, because it drains all the energy I want to invest in building my entrepreneurial pproject. It's hard, but not impossible, and eventually I will make my dream come true. Thanks again for your words.
Chris, for a short stint, I was a shipping clerk for a wood stove manufacturer. The stint was short because during my stay, I slammed a tines-up forklift into a truck I was helping unload, and a few days later, ripped up the side of a company van in the alley behind the factory by catching it on a big bank of wooden pallets. Whoops.
In my defense, I was supposed to be simply a shipping clerk, but being short-handed at times, they corralled me into being something else. A menace, I guess. I did also do some advertising copywriting for them, essentially for free, because I’m smart that way. At least I did get to keep the steel-toed boots they issued me. My firing probably saved me from being beheaded by one of the sharp sheets of sheet that were stacked in the factory. And I did get a good copywriting gig at an outdoor equipment company after that. Accepting your congratulations in advance...
So glad you lived to tell the tale! Sounds like a sitcom you could write single-handedly. Like THE OFFICE but instead THE WAREHOUSE. I’ve never operated heavy machinery but I’ve always wanted to. You’ve lived my actual dream job. I love that you did PR and marketing for them. No better way to better your skills than real world testing and application. Keep stretching your skills but stay safe too.
Thanks Carol. I've actually had other warehouse jobs, shockingly enough. I have managed to dump a very tall, new refrigerator on its face, with damage, when I hit a little bump with the dolly. I have skills.
Many years ago I lost my job and I was so excited. And scared. But I was miserable and I wanted out and it worked out in a way that didn’t make me look like the bad person.
This is the perfect response and exactly what I needed to read at this moment. I got “I’m sorry” a lot but I wasn’t feeling sorry at all - I was relieved it was finally over and grateful to be kicked out of auto pilot. My old co-workers had a lot of survivors guilt I think but I was so grateful not to be in that position anymore.
After reflecting on it for longer I also realized how much the security of the job was keeping me from investing in myself. I was so focused on the compound interest of my bank interest I was totally forsaking the compound interest that comes from investing in hobbies and skills and self reflection earlier in your life.
I remember that the person who thrived fastest amongst the group of us in the same junior editorial job at a London publisher was the one who was made redundant, not us who supposedly survived the round of company-wide redundancies. She had a fast lesson in uncertainty and moving on, we learnt slowly.
Just recently heard that the best comeback to an impending breakup is I’m so glad you said something first! I was having difficulty finding the right words. (Soon-to-be ex is now obliterated, deflated and forever to be your Facebook stalker).
Had a “pink slip” handed to me decades ago and bosses made sure it was a secret until I received it. My unexpected response which deflated them? IT’S NOT PINK! (Laughter all around). Did it work out? Yes. Unemployed n nervous for nearly a year then landed my dream-ish job. Alternate work schedule with Fridays off. And the knowledge they lost the most creative and dedicated GIS mapper they ever had? Priceless.
Oddly enough, this is exactly what I needed to read. I’m 35 and was just diagnosed with breast cancer (also found out I am BRCA2 positive). I’m about to start treatment but it is stage 1 so survival isn’t even a concern with my doctors. I think what has surprised me the most is that I’m not really scared of this whole situation but I’m scared of returning to procrastinating on all the things I want to do when treatment is over.
Congratulations on choosing to look forward to your journey with positivity. Know that everyone here in this group is cheering you on and wishing you the best of health. I had a friend who used to make a summer list of things to do. We’d check things off and really feel like we had the whole summer experience at the end of September. The summer days fly by and if you don’t actively seek out that lobster roll or hazelnut gelato, you’ll have to wait til next year. Infinite blessings to you!
Just over three months ago, I left my federal government career to pursue my soul's calling. For two years, I grappled with financial fears, change and all the uncertainty that comes with making a massive career change after 23+ years in. The turning point came when I reframed my perspective from all the disempowering 'what-ifs' to empowering beliefs about myself and what could be available to me if I could create time in my life and space in my mind for new possibilities to emerge.
The truth is, nobody wins a race they don't want to be in. When we learn to make our own rules via different beliefs, choices, thoughts, emotions, actions, etc. we start to run our own race and begin to rig the game of life in our favour! =)
I truly believe that having passion in your heart and a smile on your face most days in a job you love is as close to success and happiness as you can get. Congratulations on starting your journey!
A passionate heart, a beautiful smile and a love for what matters most to us, that right there is a winning formula for cultivating a fulfilling inner world and a joyful outer world experience! Thank you Carol for this wonderful share.
Congratulations!
I’ve been working really, really, really hard to offer incredibly intimate, carefully vetted, sweet little six-person Internal Family Systems practice groups / classes.
Despite absolutely loving them with all my heart, the classes rarely fill all the way and people drop out at the last minute, which has slowly but surely broken the heart of the parts of me that were so excited and so lovingly enthusiastic about sharing my passion for IFS in this small-class format.
This last class has truly broken my parts’ hearts for good. I’ve been so understanding and flexible about sign-ups — which has only led to upset and resentment about lack of communication, last-minute drop-outs, and me not being able to plan because I don’t know if people who say they’ll attend are really going to.
It feels like a break-up with the dream of offering these classes. No matter what I’ve tried, it’s not working. It’s like the universe keeps pushing me underwater when I’m trying to swim and I can’t keep swimming against the waves. It feels like a huge “No” or “not right now.” This class is the #1 cause of stress, distress, disappointment and unhappiness in my life right now and it’s clear it’s simply not worth it.
So, CONGRATULATIONS! are indeed in order!
I’ll run the next two series of classes I committed to, but this pain = clear feedback to stop putting my hand on a hot stove and stop getting burned. Thank you universe for the clear feedback to rethink and revamp all my boundaries and approaches. Either I change how I offer the classes or I stop offering them. Full stop!!
The break-up has happened. The dream has died. The light has gone out of my parts’ eyes for offering these lovely little classes in a flexible format. Now it’s time to hatch a plan.
I needed this post today more than anything else, to ease the heartbreak and accept that the dream has ALREADY DIED. It just didn’t work the way I was doing it. And that’s okay. Either there’s a new and better way, or it’s time to walk away. Either I make the classes work for my heart or I walk away from them. No more ifs, ands or buts.
Thank you Chris!! Congratulations! This is not working! Time for what does!
Full payment upon sign up and zero refunds. People should know better.
Carol you’re making my heart sing today! Thank you!!!!
This absolutely makes sense. So often, the loss and new opportunities show up so nearly simultaneously that the directly opposing feelings are staggering.
I've taken to telling people, "I am so sorry, and also congratulations!"
That seems to be the acknowledgement that they need of both. It's like it gives them language and permission to feel both emotions at the same time.
True! And then the other person has the wide open space to move the conversation towards whatever path they need to discuss - the sorry part or the congratulations part. :)
Yes, exactly! People usually look really relieved to have both sides voiced.
I have thought this occasionally! My companion of 5 years moved out of the country due to advancing age(89) to be near his caring child in Spain. I cut back on time with him a month before he left, my decision.
We saw each other daily for dinner and a short time afterward. I knew I needed to begin readjusting. I prefer a man in my life, intimate or otherwise. This was otherwise and satisfying in many ways. I’m looking for another companion. Also getting more accepting of being alone. Thank you for the reminder of my current opportunity. Did I mention I’m 84!
Senior centers are great places to connect. Hoping you find several someones for decades of happy times ahead!
What a powerful article! Thanks! I am officialy unemployed since yesterday. When I was informed on the 3rd of July, I knew that Life was making the obvious decision I had been posponing. I know that now I can do whatever I want. That feels good. However, the system's burocracies force me to search actively for another job I don't like. That changes the game, because it drains all the energy I want to invest in building my entrepreneurial pproject. It's hard, but not impossible, and eventually I will make my dream come true. Thanks again for your words.
Chris, for a short stint, I was a shipping clerk for a wood stove manufacturer. The stint was short because during my stay, I slammed a tines-up forklift into a truck I was helping unload, and a few days later, ripped up the side of a company van in the alley behind the factory by catching it on a big bank of wooden pallets. Whoops.
In my defense, I was supposed to be simply a shipping clerk, but being short-handed at times, they corralled me into being something else. A menace, I guess. I did also do some advertising copywriting for them, essentially for free, because I’m smart that way. At least I did get to keep the steel-toed boots they issued me. My firing probably saved me from being beheaded by one of the sharp sheets of sheet that were stacked in the factory. And I did get a good copywriting gig at an outdoor equipment company after that. Accepting your congratulations in advance...
So glad you lived to tell the tale! Sounds like a sitcom you could write single-handedly. Like THE OFFICE but instead THE WAREHOUSE. I’ve never operated heavy machinery but I’ve always wanted to. You’ve lived my actual dream job. I love that you did PR and marketing for them. No better way to better your skills than real world testing and application. Keep stretching your skills but stay safe too.
Thanks Carol. I've actually had other warehouse jobs, shockingly enough. I have managed to dump a very tall, new refrigerator on its face, with damage, when I hit a little bump with the dolly. I have skills.
Your sense of humor is solid gold. If you run across or drop any mini freezers, I’m in the market.
Carol, I appreciate the nice words. I have dumped my sense of humor on hard ground a few times, but the bruises do heal. Have a good weekend!
I love this reframing of getting fired, broken up with, even receiving a frightening medical diagnosis. It's a new life! A new opportunity, let's go!
Validation first. Then, congratulations.
Many years ago I lost my job and I was so excited. And scared. But I was miserable and I wanted out and it worked out in a way that didn’t make me look like the bad person.
Yes!
This is the perfect response and exactly what I needed to read at this moment. I got “I’m sorry” a lot but I wasn’t feeling sorry at all - I was relieved it was finally over and grateful to be kicked out of auto pilot. My old co-workers had a lot of survivors guilt I think but I was so grateful not to be in that position anymore.
After reflecting on it for longer I also realized how much the security of the job was keeping me from investing in myself. I was so focused on the compound interest of my bank interest I was totally forsaking the compound interest that comes from investing in hobbies and skills and self reflection earlier in your life.
I remember that the person who thrived fastest amongst the group of us in the same junior editorial job at a London publisher was the one who was made redundant, not us who supposedly survived the round of company-wide redundancies. She had a fast lesson in uncertainty and moving on, we learnt slowly.
Just recently heard that the best comeback to an impending breakup is I’m so glad you said something first! I was having difficulty finding the right words. (Soon-to-be ex is now obliterated, deflated and forever to be your Facebook stalker).
Had a “pink slip” handed to me decades ago and bosses made sure it was a secret until I received it. My unexpected response which deflated them? IT’S NOT PINK! (Laughter all around). Did it work out? Yes. Unemployed n nervous for nearly a year then landed my dream-ish job. Alternate work schedule with Fridays off. And the knowledge they lost the most creative and dedicated GIS mapper they ever had? Priceless.