A Couch Can Make You Happy

Or, “Buy more things this year, it’s okay.”

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Friends, I’d like to tell you something today. If you’ve ever wondered about the conventional wisdom, “Buy experiences, not things,” I’m here to let you know that it’s okay to buy THINGS, too.

That’s right. Buy a couch if you think it might make you happy—and it actually might. 

Not forever, of course. But nothing is forever, after all. And happiness can be found in more ways than going off the grid or entirely opting out of consumer culture.

Of all the aphorisms in the form of bumper sticker quotes or Insta-worthy "positive thinking" posts, don’t buy things has to be one of the most suspicious.

I understand why it’s popular: because life is hard! If we can whittle all the complexities of life down to pithy sayings, we’ll get more likes on our posts. 😬

More of a loveseat than a couch, I think. But I imagine it also made someone happy at some point.

“No-spend challenges” have taken over TikTok, with millions of views. There are now at least a dozen published books on the theme of not buying anything for a year.

Still, the popular idea that we should "choose experiences over things" trivializes the benefits of physical possessions. Simply put, sometimes it’s good or helpful to buy things!

The idea also suggests that somehow, “choosing experiences” automatically makes us happier, at least compared to going shopping. The reality is that sometimes it does and other times it doesn’t. 

The mistake, therefore, is to assume.

Fun fact: Did you know that you can travel around the world and still experience anxiety, depression, and all-purpose malaise?

I promise that you can. As a bonus, you might also feel guilty, because while it’s happening you also know how lucky you are. Then you go into a negative spiral where you question your choices and wonder if anything matters at all. (More on this in a future post.)

Meanwhile, you can find joy in decorating your space—a house, apartment, or even a single small room—and making it feel as much like “you” as possible. Comfort matters. Convenience is helpful. Some things we buy can develop sentimental value. 

That's why I think you should buy more things this year. Or maybe “you should” isn’t the right phrasing—because who am I to say what you should do?—but more like “YOU COULD” and you’ll still be happy.

Or maybe you’ll be unhappy, who knows? The point is that opting out of all forms of consumerism won’t necessarily make you happier. 

This couch is on a beach. What’s it doing there? No one knows. But maybe someone was really happy about having a place to sit and look away from the water.

One more fun fact: if you are generally happier and better off, you can then be a much better all-around human. Whereas if you are generally miserable, it’s hard to be of much use to others.

This is something I’ve learned from Gretchen Rubin, who is sometimes asked about the ethics of prioritizing our own happiness when there is so much hardship and suffering in the world.¹

It’s worth thinking about when you read news stories or firsthand accounts of terrible things. Yes, it’s good to ask, “What can I do for others?"—but you can also ask, “What can I do for myself?”

Thinking this way often leads to some sort of personal improvement, giving you more capacity to be helpful elsewhere.

(In recent years I have been both generally happy and miserable. I prefer happier, if for no other reason than it feels a lot better. But I do also think that happier Chris is better for other people, too.)

One way to be happier FOR SURE is to question the generalized, “do it this way” recommendations that everyone seems to take at face value.

That’s why I offer you this suggestion: place a high value on experiences, sure. Make happy memories. But if buying a couch makes you happy, why not buy a couch. 

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P.S. We’re just getting started here. I can’t wait to share the rest of the year with you. 

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Shoutouts n’ Things 🎤

• I’ve enjoyed reading

  After School by Casey Lewis
  , a newsletter all about Gen Z trends and analysis. Since I am far from Gen Z age myself, it’s a helpful viewpoint into a generation I want to understand better.

Conversation Starters 📝

1. What’s something you’ve bought that made you happy?

2. How do you feel about “investing in experiences”?

3. If we went couch shopping together, what’s one thing I should know?

1. Gretchen delves into the topic in more detail in this interview.