15 Ways to Self-Sabotage
Free tips to thwart your progress and feel bad about yourself.
Listen, I don’t like to brag, but I’m pretty good at something: I’ve been thwarting my own progress for a long time. While I often get bored with things and move on to something else, self-sabotage has been a constant companion throughout many stages of my life.
What can I say, I’m committed!Â
Maybe you’re also into self-sabotage. That’s awesome, let’s be friends. But what if you’ve noticed that your recent efforts at bringing yourself down aren’t as effective as they once were?Â
If so, you might be looking for some ways to upgrade your sabotage practice. Got you covered.Â
As a longtime expert, I offer you these tips for your very own sabotage efforts—all at no charge!
Free Tips for Self-Sabotage, Use At WillÂ
Overthink every decision, analyzing every possible outcome until you're paralyzed by indecision. Why take action when you can just sit there, stuck in an endless loop of "what ifs"?
Engage in negative self-talk, criticizing yourself harshly for every mistake or imperfection. This erodes your self-esteem and confidence, making it difficult to take risks or try new things.
Neglect self-care and prioritize work over your physical and mental well-being. Who needs sleep, exercise, or relaxation when you can just push yourself to the brink of exhaustion?
Refuse to ask for help or support, even when you're struggling. Admitting vulnerability is a sign of weakness, right? Suffer in silence instead.
Constantly seek perfection in every aspect of your life. If it's not flawless, it's not worth doing. This mindset will ensure you never finish anything and always feel inadequate.
Dwell on past mistakes and failures, allowing them to define your present and future. Why learn from your experiences when you can just remain stuck?
Avoid setting boundaries and saying "no" to requests that drain your time and energy. Overcommit yourself to the point of burnout, because your needs always come last.
Constantly chase external validation and approval, rather than developing a stronger sense of self. Let others dictate your worth and make decisions for you.
Engage in all-or-nothing thinking. If you can't do something perfectly, there's no point in trying at all. This mindset will help you remain stuck and stagnant.
Avoid vulnerability and emotional intimacy in relationships. Keep people at a distance to prevent potential hurt or rejection, even if it means feeling lonely and disconnected.
Hold onto grudges and resentment, refusing to forgive others or yourself. Let bitterness and anger build up, draining your energy and joy.
Surround yourself with negative people who drain your energy and bring you down. Always a great way to end up feeling worse off!
Compare your behind-the-scenes struggles to everyone else's highlight reel on social media. Let envy and self-doubt consume you, rather than focusing on your own unique journey and progress.
Procrastinate on important tasks, waiting until the last minute to start or even missing deadlines altogether. This creates stress, panic, and adrenal fatigue—all great factors for self-sabotage.
Practice codependency. Base your self-worth on what other people think and say about you. If they’re happy, you’re happy. If they’re upset, think long and hard about what you did to cause it.Â
When You’re Ready to Move OnÂ
This list could have been 57 steps or more, but I figure 15 is enough to get you started.
Oh, and what if you get tired of self-sabotage?Â
I suppose you could always try something wild and crazy, like being kind to yourself. Just don’t go overboard with it.Â
Feel free to share your favorite self-sabotage strategy, either from this list or one of your own.
I check all the boxes. I'm an overachiever even when it comes to self-sabotage.
I'm very interested to consider the opposite of all these, in growing our natural confidence which is our birthright:
1. Make decisions with 80% assurance. Confident people are comfortable with ambiguity and are willing and accurate guessers.
2. Engage in positive self-talk. Enjoy the "best friend/coach" in your head. You can access your internal wisdom and gain a life coach worth millions!
3. Become a self-care boss. Make a schedule for becoming the healthiest version of yourself and make it fun. Like buying cute tops for the gym!
4. Again- 80%. Not perfection. That's actually industry standard in my field, education. Once a learner has reached 80% mastery of a skill, move on.
5. Dwell on possibility! Emily Dickinson has an AMAZING poem about this: I Dwell in Possibility. https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/52197/i-dwell-in-possibility-466
6. Setting boss boundaries with a smile. Have some scripts ready. Manners are your best weapon. "Thank you for thinking about me with this opportunity. I'm not able to commit at this time. I'm wishing you the best."
7. Your internal best friend will keep the high fives coming. Look nowhere else. You've got plenty from the Source of your divinely created being.
8. Engages with new ideas with the confidence of a master surfer. You're riding momentum and you're in charge. Take what serves you and ignore the rest.
9. Share emotional intimacy in containers marked by respect. And if you don't have any solid relationships yet, go to a local open mic in your community and grab that microphone and make a joke about your problems. You new friends will find you and hunt you down after the show.
10. Listen to your grudges and resentment. What lesson is your body trying to teach you? Learn the lesson and the voice of resentment fades naturally.
11. Surround yourself with outrageously positive people (like me! Sign up for my Substack, From Fawn to Fearless!) who pump you full of energy and lift you up. Always a great way to end up feeling amazing!!
12. Make social media work for you. What's your big idea? What gems do you have to share with the world? There has never been a bigger opportunity for shining your light.
13. Figure out your most important tasks and commit to doing them. Break the tasks into small chunks. Celebrate every little victory. It's all about momentum, friends. Like Tesla said, it's all about energy.
14. Practice unconditional love. Base your self-worth on your own level of presence. You are divinely created and you were born to have everything you want. All you have to do is show up fully for the present moment.